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Message: <blockquote data-quote="vic" data-source="post: 60583">Al Gore has announced another of his inventions: Al Gore Golf   Following are the Official Rules of AL Gore Golf as published by the USGGA (United States Gore Golfing Association).  1. Mulligans: You get as many as you want. In other words, hit until you get a shot you like ( or run out of balls). This applies to every shot including putts. However, there is a restriction on this Rule: You are limited to the number of balls you and your caddy can carry onto the course. If you run out, you can't send out for a fresh supply.  2. Improving your lie: If your first attempt at a good lie isn't quite good enough, improve on it and do it again (and again, and again) until you get it right. Some spectators in the gallery will always support you. If after a few mulligans you start to get tired, you can put the ball on a tee and claim an exemption under Rule 9. below.  3. Putting: If you miss a putt because of a green break or a bad read, it's ok to claim that the ball made a mistake and intended to break into the hole and you get to claim that the putt was made. Unfortunately this applies only to putts that stop within 10 ft. of the hole. If the putt stops more that 10 ft. away from the hole you have to go back under Rule 1 above and take the putt over. Naturally, you don't have to count the first putt.  4. Water hazards: Since the majority of golfers hate water hazards and wish they weren't there, you get to claim "The will of the people should prevail" if you hit into one and you get a free drop nearer the hole. This free drop nearer the hole is to help speed up play and to preserve your supply of balls.  5. Sand Bunkers: Since "There is no controlling legal authority" covering sand bunkers, you get to do whatever you want should you hit into one. Don't worry, Janet Reno will protect you from the USGA and the Golf Gods.  6. Rough: If your ball happens to roll off the fairway into the rough, you get to move it back onto the fairway. You just know that the course designers "Intent" was for you to never have to play out of the rough. It is there merely to prevent your ball from rolling into the grunge where it is lost forever.  7. Scoring: If your score still isn't to your liking after following the above rules, you can always blame it on the score card claiming it was misleading, confusing, and made deliberately vague with the intent to get you to write in the wrong score. Therefore, you and your caddy get to keep recounting your strokes until you come up with a score you like.  8. Pace of Play: Forget everything you have heard about pace of play. You can take as long as you want on every shot and for the full round. Having to play a round of golf in 4 hours just isn't fair to you and you don't have to pay any attention to that locally imposed ridiculous rule. If the course Pro doesn't like it, take him to court and sue. You can always find some Judge who plays "Al Gore Golf" who will agree with you.  9. Fairness: The Al Gore Fairness Rule is a catchall and covers every contingency that the other Rules overlook. Basically, it allows you to do anything you want to do under the doctrine of "Fairness". It doesn't matter if no one else thinks what you do is fair, because "Fairness" is only in the eye of the beholder and you get to define it as it applies to you.  10. If all else fails, you can impose on Bill Daley (of Chicago Daley fame) to caddy for you and Jesse Jackson to lead the cheering section. This will assure you of winning your match regardless of how well (or poorly) you play under the above Rules.</blockquote>

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