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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="CaliforniaPaul" data-source="post: 1067095" data-attributes="member: 28131"><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"> Little Timmys List....................</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Dear Santa,</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Merry Christmas,</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Timmy Jones</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><hr /></p> <p style="text-align: center"></span></span></span></span></span></p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Dear Timmy,</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Thank you for your letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you something you can go outside and play with.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Merry Christmas,</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Santa Claus</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><hr /></p> <p style="text-align: center"></span></span></span></span></span></p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Mr. Claus,</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Seeing that I have fulfilled the "naughty vs. nice" contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Respectfully,</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Tim Jones</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><hr /></p> <p style="text-align: center"></span></span></span></span></span></p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Mr. Jones,</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorneys have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve you social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Very Truly Yours,</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">S Claus</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><hr /></p> <p style="text-align: center"></span></span></span></span></span></p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Now look here Fat Man,</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">T-Bone</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><hr /></p> <p style="text-align: center"></span></span></span></span></span></p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Listen Pizza Face,</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny g-banger wannabe? "He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your <img src="http://*" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /><img src="http://*" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /><img src="http://*" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /><img src="http://*" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /><img src="http://*" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /> wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totino's pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in you're a** and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">S Clizzy</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><hr /></p> <p style="text-align: center"></span></span></span></span></span></p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Dear Santa,</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Timmy</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><hr /></p> <p style="text-align: center"></span></span></span></span></span></p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Timmy,</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">That's what I thought you little bastard.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Santa</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CaliforniaPaul, post: 1067095, member: 28131"] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] Little Timmys List.................... [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]Dear Santa,[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]Merry Christmas,[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]Timmy Jones[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][HR][/HR][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER][/CENTER] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]Dear Timmy,[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]Thank you for your letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you something you can go outside and play with.[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]Merry Christmas,[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]Santa Claus[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][HR][/HR][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER][/CENTER] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]Mr. Claus,[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]Seeing that I have fulfilled the "naughty vs. nice" contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]Respectfully,[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]Tim Jones[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][HR][/HR][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER][/CENTER] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]Mr. Jones,[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorneys have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve you social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]Very Truly Yours,[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]S Claus[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][HR][/HR][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER][/CENTER] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]Now look here Fat Man, I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN![/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]T-Bone[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][HR][/HR][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER][/CENTER] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]Listen Pizza Face,[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny g-banger wannabe? "He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your [IMG]*[/IMG][IMG]*[/IMG][IMG]*[/IMG][IMG]*[/IMG][IMG]*[/IMG] wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totino's pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in you're a** and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]S Clizzy[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][HR][/HR][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER][/CENTER] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]Dear Santa,[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]Timmy[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][HR][/HR][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER][/CENTER] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]Timmy,[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]That's what I thought you little bastard.[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]Santa[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [INDENT] [/INDENT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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