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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 1149944" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'">The Christian Way to Call Someone a Bastard</span></strong><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px">A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px">golfer approached and asked if he could join him. The first said </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px">that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px">They were even after the first few holes. The second guy said, </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px">"We're about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px">hole?" The first guy said that he wasn't much for betting, but </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px">agreed to the terms.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px">The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px">As they were walking off number eighteen, the second guy was busy </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px">counting his $80.00. He confessed that he was the pro at a </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px">neighboring course and liked to pick on suckers. The first fellow </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px">revealed that he was the Parish Priest.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px">The pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px">The Priest said,</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px">"You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px">your winnings."</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px">The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px">The Priest said, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px">donation......</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px">And, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I'll marry them.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Papyrus'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">May your troubles be less, Your blessing be more</span></span></span><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">, </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span><span style="font-family: 'Papyrus'">And nothing but happiness come through your door!</span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"></span></span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 1149944, member: 1246"] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=2][FONT=Calibri][B][FONT=Calibri]The Christian Way to Call Someone a Bastard[/FONT][/B][FONT=Calibri] [SIZE=2]A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him. The first said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome. They were even after the first few holes. The second guy said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?" The first guy said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms. The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.> As they were walking off number eighteen, the second guy was busy counting his $80.00. He confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring course and liked to pick on suckers. The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest. The pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money. The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings." The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?" The Priest said, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation...... And, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I'll marry them.[/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Calibri][FONT=Calibri][FONT=Calibri][/FONT][/FONT] [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Calibri][FONT=Calibri][FONT=Calibri][/FONT][/FONT] [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Calibri][FONT=Calibri][FONT=Calibri][FONT=Papyrus][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff]May your troubles be less, Your blessing be more[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=#0000ff][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial], [/FONT][FONT=Papyrus]And nothing but happiness come through your door![/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Papyrus] [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT] [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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