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Message: <blockquote data-quote="PT Stewie" data-source="post: 1205874" data-attributes="member: 12889">>> Subject: A bit of Irish humour>>> **********************************************************************> ********************** An Irishman who had a little too much to drink > Is driving home from the city one night and, Of course, his car is > weaving violently all over the road.> A cop pulls him over.> "So," says the cop to the driver,> Where have ya been?"> " Why, I've been to the pub of course,"> Slurs the drunk.> " Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite afew to drink > this evening."> "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.> "Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and Folding hisarms > across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out > of your car?"> "Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk.> "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf.">>> **********************************************************************> ******* Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, When Tim > Finnegan arrives at her door.> "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks.> "I've somethin' to tell ya".> "Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim.> But where's my husband?"> "That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda."> There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."> "Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."> "I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus> Is dead and gone. I'm sorry.> Finally, she looked up at Tim.> "How did it happen, Tim?"> "It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat Of Guinness Stout and > drowned."> "Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me the truth, Tim.> Did he at least go quickly?"> "Well, Brenda... No. In fact,> He got out three times to pee"> **********************************************************************> ******** Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after His Sunday > morning service, and she's in tears.> He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"> She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news.> My husband passed away last night."> The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible.> Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"> She says, "That he did, Father."> The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary? "> She says,> He said,> 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'>>> *********************************************************>>> ANDTHE BEST FOR LAST> A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, Enters a confessional booth, > sits down, but says nothing.> The Priest coughs a few times to get his Attention but the drunk > continues to sit there.> Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.> The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this > side either!">>></blockquote>

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