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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 123985" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p>Kids - Before and After</p><p></p><p>The 3 words you most want to hear from your husband are:</p><p>Before kids: "I love you"</p><p>After 1st child: "Let me help"</p><p>After 2nd child: "I'll change her"</p><p></p><p>The best toys are:</p><p>Before kids: wooden and educational</p><p>After 1st child: plastic and educational</p><p>After 2nd child: plastic and silent</p><p></p><p>The last restaurant you visited had:</p><p>Before kids: elegant tables, an innovative menu, impeccable service</p><p>After 1st child: clean tables, a children's menu, quick service</p><p>After 2nd child: an available table, the menu on the wall, self-service</p><p></p><p>You see a child having a tantrum in a store and you feel sorry for...:</p><p>Before kids: yourself</p><p>After 1st child: the child</p><p>After 2nd child: the mom</p><p></p><p>A home-cooked meal is...:</p><p>Before kids: 5 courses, plus wine</p><p>After 1st child: main dish, vegetable, and starch</p><p>After 2nd child: frozen macaroni and cheese</p><p></p><p>"Goodnight Moon" is...</p><p>Before kids: what?</p><p>After 1st child: a cute children's book</p><p>After 2nd child: memorized</p><p></p><p>Children should be potty trained...:</p><p>Before kids: as soon as possible</p><p>After 1st child: when the are developmentally ready</p><p>After 2nd child: sometime before they leave for college</p><p></p><p>You choose your grocery store based on...:</p><p>Before kids: selection</p><p>After 1st child: price</p><p>After 2nd child: a candy-free checkout lane</p><p></p><p>You call your mom on Mother's Day to say...:</p><p>Before kids: "I love you"</p><p>After 1st child: "Thanks, Mom"</p><p>After 2nd child: "Please forgive me for my childhood"</p><p></p><p>"Sesame Street" characters you can name are...:</p><p>Before kids: Big Bird, Grover, Oscar the Grouch</p><p>After 1st child: Elmo, Zoe, and Slimey the worm</p><p>After 2nd child: All of them</p><p></p><p>You spot your neighbors' child wearing striped tights, a flowered dress,</p><p>combat shoes, and a tiara and you think...:</p><p>Before kids: her mom needs some fashion tips</p><p>After 1st child: her dad needs some fashion tips</p><p>After 2nd child: won't she get too hot in tights?</p><p></p><p>You're waiting in line for a rest room when a mom dragging a toddler "in</p><p>need" enters. You...:</p><p>Before kids: wonder if the kid will make it</p><p>After 1st child: give up your place in line</p><p>After 2nd child: shout "let's move it, ladies, we have an emergency</p><p>here!"</p><p></p><p>- Parenting Magazine</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 123985, member: 1246"] Kids - Before and After The 3 words you most want to hear from your husband are: Before kids: "I love you" After 1st child: "Let me help" After 2nd child: "I'll change her" The best toys are: Before kids: wooden and educational After 1st child: plastic and educational After 2nd child: plastic and silent The last restaurant you visited had: Before kids: elegant tables, an innovative menu, impeccable service After 1st child: clean tables, a children's menu, quick service After 2nd child: an available table, the menu on the wall, self-service You see a child having a tantrum in a store and you feel sorry for...: Before kids: yourself After 1st child: the child After 2nd child: the mom A home-cooked meal is...: Before kids: 5 courses, plus wine After 1st child: main dish, vegetable, and starch After 2nd child: frozen macaroni and cheese "Goodnight Moon" is... Before kids: what? After 1st child: a cute children's book After 2nd child: memorized Children should be potty trained...: Before kids: as soon as possible After 1st child: when the are developmentally ready After 2nd child: sometime before they leave for college You choose your grocery store based on...: Before kids: selection After 1st child: price After 2nd child: a candy-free checkout lane You call your mom on Mother's Day to say...: Before kids: "I love you" After 1st child: "Thanks, Mom" After 2nd child: "Please forgive me for my childhood" "Sesame Street" characters you can name are...: Before kids: Big Bird, Grover, Oscar the Grouch After 1st child: Elmo, Zoe, and Slimey the worm After 2nd child: All of them You spot your neighbors' child wearing striped tights, a flowered dress, combat shoes, and a tiara and you think...: Before kids: her mom needs some fashion tips After 1st child: her dad needs some fashion tips After 2nd child: won't she get too hot in tights? You're waiting in line for a rest room when a mom dragging a toddler "in need" enters. You...: Before kids: wonder if the kid will make it After 1st child: give up your place in line After 2nd child: shout "let's move it, ladies, we have an emergency here!" - Parenting Magazine [/QUOTE]
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