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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="roach" data-source="post: 129503" data-attributes="member: 4482"><p><strong>I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut<span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the </span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">shoulder to avoid hitting her.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his </span></span></strong></strong><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">window and gave the woman the finger.</span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and </span></span></strong></strong><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in </span></span></strong></strong><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">traffic, and here's why:</span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.</span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">That's 96 miles each day.</span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.</span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.</span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.</span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.</span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I </span></span></strong></strong><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">pass at least another 4000 cars.</span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every </span></span></strong></strong><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">day.</span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">Statistically, females drive half of these.</span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">That's 18,000 women drivers!</span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.</span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">That's 642.</span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying </span></span></strong></strong><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">or unrewarding.</span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">That's 449.</span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have </span></span></strong></strong><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">seriously considered suicide or homicide.</span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">That's 98.</span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.</span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">That's 33.</span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry </span></span></strong></strong><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">weapons and this number is increasing.</span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that </span></span></strong></strong><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously </span></span></strong></strong><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.</span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">Give her the finger? I don't think so</span></span></strong></strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="roach, post: 129503, member: 4482"] [B]I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut[FONT=Verdana] right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the [/FONT][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]shoulder to avoid hitting her.[/FONT][/FONT][/B] [B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his [/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B][B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]window and gave the woman the finger.[/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and [/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B][B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in [/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B][B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]traffic, and here's why:[/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.[/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]That's 96 miles each day.[/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.[/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.[/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.[/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.[/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I [/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B][B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]pass at least another 4000 cars.[/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every [/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B][B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]day.[/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]Statistically, females drive half of these.[/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]That's 18,000 women drivers![/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.[/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]That's 642.[/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying [/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B][B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]or unrewarding.[/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]That's 449.[/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have [/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B][B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]seriously considered suicide or homicide.[/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]That's 98.[/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.[/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]That's 33.[/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry [/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B][B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]weapons and this number is increasing.[/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that [/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B][B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously [/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B][B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.[/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana]Give her the finger? I don't think so[/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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