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Message: <blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 150983" data-attributes="member: 1246">Subject: 2006 Darwin Awards   It's that time again... The Darwin Awards are finally out, the annualhonor given to the persons who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out. This year's winner was a real rocket scientist... Really! And the nominees were: Semifinalist #1 A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply,because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk. Not Surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both him and his sister. Semifinalist #2 Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when Another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon theoccupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and Crashed.They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles. Semifinalist #3 (here's a beauty!!) A 22-year-old Reston, VA, man was found dead after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot rail road trestle. Fairfax Countypolice said Eric Barcia, a fast food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped an end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. "The length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and theground," Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of death was "Major trauma." Semifinalist #4 A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. Thefriend -no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate - was hospitalized. Semifinalist #5 (this guy takes the cake!!!) Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, butthe lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as ''bright'' by his peers. Now ladies and gentleman, the winner of this year's Darwin Award: An Arizona wizard'!!!!! The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embeddedin the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. Thetype of car was unidentifiable at the scene. Police investigators finally pieced together the mystery. An amateurrocket scientist... Had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off, actually a solid fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra "push" for taking off from short airfields. He had drivenhis Chevy Impala out into the desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to the car, jumped in, got up some speedand fired off the JATO! The facts as best as could be determined are that the operator of the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3.0 miles from the crash site. This was established by the scorched and meltedasphalt at that location. The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust within5 seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds. The driver, and soon to be pilot, would have experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog fighting friend-14 jocks under full afterburners, causing him to become irrelevant for the remainder of the event. However, the automobileremained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne foran additional 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff face at a height of 125feet leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock. Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable. However, smallfragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portionof  the steering wheel. Epilogue: It has been calculated that this maroon attained a ground speedof approximately 420-mph, though much of his voyage was not on the ground.</blockquote>

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