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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 155084" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000080"><strong>GOOD NEWS / BAD NEWS FOR A PASTOR</strong></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Good News</strong>: You baptized seven people today in the river.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Bad News</strong>: You lost two of them in the swift current.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Good News</strong>: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well card.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Bad News</strong>: The vote passed by 31-30.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Good News</strong>: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Bad News</strong>: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Good News</strong>: Mrs. Jones is wild about your sermons.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Bad News</strong>: Mrs. Jones is also wild about the "Gong Show," "Beavis and Butthead" and "Texas Chain Saw Massacre."</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Good News</strong>: Your women's softball team finally won a game.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Bad News</strong>: They beat your men's softball team.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Good News</strong>: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Bad News</strong>: They are going to blacktop the front lawn of your parsonage.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Good News</strong>: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Bad News</strong>: You were on vacation.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Good News</strong>: Your deacons want to send you to the Holy Land.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">Bad News: They are stalling until the next war.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Good News</strong>: Your biggest critic just left your church.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Bad News</strong>: He has been appointed the Head Bishop of your denomination.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Good News</strong>: The youth in your church come to your house for a surprise visit.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Bad News</strong>: It's in the middle of the night and they are armed with toilet paper and shaving cream to "decorate" your house.</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 155084, member: 1246"] [CENTER][FONT=Arial][SIZE=4][COLOR=#000080][B]GOOD NEWS / BAD NEWS FOR A PASTOR[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/CENTER] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B]Good News[/B]: You baptized seven people today in the river. [B]Bad News[/B]: You lost two of them in the swift current.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B]Good News[/B]: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well card. [B]Bad News[/B]: The vote passed by 31-30.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B]Good News[/B]: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it. [B]Bad News[/B]: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B]Good News[/B]: Mrs. Jones is wild about your sermons. [B]Bad News[/B]: Mrs. Jones is also wild about the "Gong Show," "Beavis and Butthead" and "Texas Chain Saw Massacre."[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B]Good News[/B]: Your women's softball team finally won a game. [B]Bad News[/B]: They beat your men's softball team.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B]Good News[/B]: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking. [B]Bad News[/B]: They are going to blacktop the front lawn of your parsonage.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B]Good News[/B]: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks. [B]Bad News[/B]: You were on vacation.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B]Good News[/B]: Your deacons want to send you to the Holy Land. Bad News: They are stalling until the next war.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B]Good News[/B]: Your biggest critic just left your church. [B]Bad News[/B]: He has been appointed the Head Bishop of your denomination.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B]Good News[/B]: The youth in your church come to your house for a surprise visit. [B]Bad News[/B]: It's in the middle of the night and they are armed with toilet paper and shaving cream to "decorate" your house.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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