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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="cheryl" data-source="post: 157109" data-attributes="member: 1"><p><strong><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black">Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?</span></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: red"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">DR. PHIL:</span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>must first deal with the problem on THIS side of the road before it </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><em><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">goes after the problem on the OTHER SIDE of the road. What we need to </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his </span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>CURRENT problems before adding NEW problems.</em></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">OPRAH:</span></span></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>not live his life like the rest of the chickens.</em></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">GEORGE W. BUSH:</span></span></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.</em></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">COLIN POWELL:</span></span></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>of the chicken crossing the road.</em></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">ANDERSON</span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> COOPER - CNN:</span></span></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>allowed to have access to the other side of the road.</em></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">JOHN KERRY:</span></span></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.</em></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">NANCY GRACE:</span></span></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>his eyes and the way he walks.</em></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">PAT BUCHANAN:</span></span></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.</em></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">MARTHA STEWART:</span></span></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>information.</em></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">DR SEUSS:</span></span></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.</em></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">ERNEST HEMINGWAY:</span></span></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>To die in the rain. Alone.</em></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">JERRY FALWELL:</span></span></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>plain and as simple as that.</em></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">GRANDPA:</span></span></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.</em></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">BARBARA WALTERS:</span></span></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>In't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>life long dream of crossing the road.</em></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">JOHN LENNON:</span></span></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.</em></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">ARISTOTLE:</span></span></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.</em></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">BILL GATES:</span></span></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>I have just released eChicken2010, which will not only cross roads, but </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \ ..... </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>[reboot]</em></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">ALBERT EINSTEIN:</span></span></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>chicken?</em></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">BILL CLINTON:</span></span></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of </em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>‘cross the road’?</em></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">AL</span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> GORE:</span></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>I invented the chicken!</em></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">COLONEL SANDERS:</span></span></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>Did I miss one?</em></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">DICK CHENEY:</span></span></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black"><em>Were's my gun?</em></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="cheryl, post: 157109, member: 1"] [B][COLOR=red][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black]Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?[/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [COLOR=red][B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]DR. PHIL:[/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]must first deal with the problem on THIS side of the road before it [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [I][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]goes after the problem on the OTHER SIDE of the road. What we need to [/COLOR][/FONT][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his [/COLOR][/FONT][/I] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]CURRENT problems before adding NEW problems.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]OPRAH:[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]not live his life like the rest of the chickens.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]GEORGE W. BUSH:[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]COLIN POWELL:[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]of the chicken crossing the road.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]ANDERSON[/FONT][FONT=Arial] COOPER - CNN:[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]allowed to have access to the other side of the road.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]JOHN KERRY:[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]NANCY GRACE:[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]his eyes and the way he walks.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]PAT BUCHANAN:[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]MARTHA STEWART:[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]information.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]DR SEUSS:[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]ERNEST HEMINGWAY:[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]To die in the rain. Alone.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]JERRY FALWELL:[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]plain and as simple as that.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]GRANDPA:[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]BARBARA WALTERS:[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]In't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]life long dream of crossing the road.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]JOHN LENNON:[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]ARISTOTLE:[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]BILL GATES:[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]I have just released eChicken2010, which will not only cross roads, but [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \ ..... [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I][reboot][/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]ALBERT EINSTEIN:[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]chicken?[/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]BILL CLINTON:[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of [/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]‘cross the road’?[/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [COLOR=black][B][FONT=Arial]AL[/FONT][FONT=Arial] GORE:[/FONT][/B][/COLOR] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]I invented the chicken![/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]COLONEL SANDERS:[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]Did I miss one?[/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]DICK CHENEY:[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][I]Were's my gun?[/I][/COLOR][/FONT] [/FONT][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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