Home
Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
Latest activity
Members
Current visitors
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Home
Forums
Brown Cafe UPS Forum
Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 157178" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000080"><strong>HOW FOOTBALL IS RELATIVE TO CHURCH</strong></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Quarterback Sneak</strong> - Church members quietly leaving during the closing hymn.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Draw Play</strong> - What many children do with the order of service during worship.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Half-time</strong> - The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Benchwarmer</strong> - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Backfield-in-Motion</strong> - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Staying in the Pocket</strong> - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Two-minute Warning</strong> - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Instant Replay</strong> - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Sudden Death</strong> - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime".</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Trap</strong> - You're called on to pray and are asleep.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>End Run</strong> - Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Flex Defense</strong> - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Halfback Option</strong> - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong>Blitz</strong> - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 157178, member: 1246"] [CENTER][FONT=Arial][SIZE=4][COLOR=#000080][B]HOW FOOTBALL IS RELATIVE TO CHURCH[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/CENTER] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B]Quarterback Sneak[/B] - Church members quietly leaving during the closing hymn.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B]Draw Play[/B] - What many children do with the order of service during worship.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B]Half-time[/B] - The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B]Benchwarmer[/B] - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B]Backfield-in-Motion[/B] - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B]Staying in the Pocket[/B] - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B]Two-minute Warning[/B] - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B]Instant Replay[/B] - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B]Sudden Death[/B] - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime".[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B]Trap[/B] - You're called on to pray and are asleep.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B]End Run[/B] - Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B]Flex Defense[/B] - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B]Halfback Option[/B] - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B]Blitz[/B] - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Home
Forums
Brown Cafe UPS Forum
Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
Top
