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Message: <blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 159145" data-attributes="member: 1246">Conversation with God  GOD: Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world isgoing on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions,violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenancegarden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand droughtand multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossomsattracts butterflies, honeybees and flocks of songbirds. I expected tosee a vast garden of colors by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles. St. FRANCIS; It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites.They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths tokill them and replace them with grass. GOD: Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attractbutterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitiveto temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grassgrowing there? ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow itand keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass andpoisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn. GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow reallyfast. That must make the Suburbanites happy. ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, theycut it-sometimes twice a week. GOD: They cut it? Do they then bail it like hay? ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put itin bags. GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it? ST. FRANCIS: No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away. GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow.And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away? ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir. GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut backon the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth andsaves them a lot of work. ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grassstops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to waterit so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it. GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was asheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves inthe spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn,they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture inthe soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a natural cycle of life. ST. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn anew circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles andpay to have them hauled away. GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in thewinter to keep the soil moist and loose? ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buysomething which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it aroundin place of the leaves. GOD: And where do they get this mulch? ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch. GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine,you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight? ST. CATHERINE: "Dumb and Dumber", Lord. It's a story about.... GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St Francis.  </blockquote>

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