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Message: <blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 163063" data-attributes="member: 1246">MURPHY'S LAWS OF LAW ENFORCEMENT - If you have cleared the entire house (or apartment), encountered no resistance and have not been cussed out once, you hit the wrong house.- The newly elected Sheriff is not the one you voted for, and he knows it!- Court will be scheduled in the middle of your days off.- Hot calls will only come over the air 10 minutes before the end of your shift.- You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station.- Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.- The Mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase.- The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick and choke.- Never search a dark warehouse with a cop whose nickname is "Boom-Boom".- If you park your patrol car in the exact center of the Gobi desert, within 5 minutes someone will pull up and ask for direction.- To err is human, to forgive is against department policy.- You will find a "police discount" one day before payday.- Shatterproof flashlights seldom are.- Glow in the dark sights are just as visible to you as they are to the crook hiding behind you.- No patrol car assigned to you will be clean and never have a full tank of gas.- Wearing white socks makes boot zippers break.- The oldest squad car won't be retired. It will be assigned to you.- Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day.- Flashlight batteries never die in the daylight hours.- Your mouthiest traffic violator will be related to the sheriff.- You will score no higher than fourth on a promotion exam with only three positions.- If the crooks are within pistol range, so are you.- The speed you respond to a fight in progress is inversely proportional to how long you have been an officer.- Bullet proof vests might be.- Your portable radio will never fail until you are involved in a foot pursuit.- Vehicle pursuits always progress from areas of low traffic density to high traffic density.- Your pen will only run out of ink when you are ready to write a ticket.- NCIC will be down anytime you see a car listed on a hot sheet.- You will never get a bomb threat call until the squad is away on training.- The experience of your DA is inversely proportional to the importance of the case he is prosecuting.- Word processors only delete reports when they are nearly done.- In a physical confrontation involving more than one officer, any impact weapon used will strike cops more times than crooks.- Do unto others, but do it first.- There is an inverse relationship between the number of auto club stickers on a rear bumper and how well the person drives.- You are ALWAYS downwind from pepper spray.- No one's idea is a good idea until it becomes anothers idea...usually the Chief's.- There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.- All great discoveries are made by mistake.- If there is a possibility of several things going wrong the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.- The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.- Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.- Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.- High speed chases will always proceed from an area of light traffic to an area of extremely heavy traffic.- If you know someone who tortures animals and wets the bed, he is either a serial killer or he works for Internal Affairs.- If a cop swings a baton in a fight, he will hit other cops more often than he will hit the bad guys he swings at.- Domestic arguments will always migrate from an area of few available weapons (living room), to an area with many available weapons (kitchen).- If you have just punched out a handcuffed prisoner for spitting at you, you are about to become a star on the 6 o'clock news.- Bullets work on veteran cops too. They also work on weight lifters, martial arts experts, department marksmen, Vice cops, and others who consider themselves immortal.- When a civilian sees a blue lights approaching at a high rate of speed, he will always pull into the lane the you need to use.- You can never drive slow enough to please the citizens who don't need a cop, and you can never drive fast enough to please the ones who do.- Any suspect with a rifle is a better shot than any cop with a pistol.- On any call, there will always be more bad guys than there are good guys, and the farther away your back-up, the more there will be.- Whatever you are about to do, if there is a good chance it will get you killed, you probably shouldn't do it.- The better you do your job, the more likely you are to be shot, injured, civilian complaints, sued, investigated, or subpoenaed on your day off.</blockquote>

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