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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 223344" data-attributes="member: 1246">12 Valid Reasons Not To Come In To Work&nbsp; 1. I can&#039;t come in to work today because I&#039;ll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?&nbsp;2. When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-lax in addition to my Prozac. I can&#039;t get off the john, but I feel good about it.&nbsp;3. My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.&nbsp;4. I can&#039;t come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.&nbsp;5. If it is all the same to you I won&#039;t be coming in to work.The voices told me to clean all the guns today.&nbsp;6. I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet....&nbsp;7. I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at Tom Thumb.&nbsp;8. Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won&#039;t be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I&#039;ll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.&nbsp;9. Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.&nbsp;10. I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn&#039;t come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.&nbsp;11. The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won&#039;t bite things when I am startled.&nbsp;12. The dog ate my car keys. We&#039;re going to hitchhike to the vet.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 223344, member: 1246"] [U]12 Valid Reasons Not To Come In To Work[/U] 1. I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK? 2. When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it. 3. My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it. 4. I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation. 5. If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today. 6. I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet.... 7. I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at Tom Thumb. 8. Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling. 9. Constipation has made me a walking time bomb. 10. I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information. 11. The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled. 12. The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet. [/QUOTE]

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