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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 250223" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p>Market Lingo.........</p><p> </p><p>For all of you who are having trouble with the stock market these days, here is a little something to help you put things in perspective.</p><p></p><p><strong>Bull Market</strong> -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.</p><p></p><p><strong>Bear Market</strong> -- A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.</p><p></p><p><strong>Momentum Investing</strong> -- The fine art of buying high and selling low.</p><p></p><p><strong>Value Investing</strong> -- The art of buying low and selling lower.</p><p></p><p><strong>P/E Ratio</strong> -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.</p><p></p><p><strong>Broker</strong> -- What my broker has made me.</p><p></p><p><strong>Buy, buy</strong> -- A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the plane.</p><p></p><p><strong>Standard & Poor</strong> -- Your life in a nutshell.</p><p></p><p><strong>Stock Analyst</strong> -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.</p><p></p><p><strong>Stock Split</strong> -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.</p><p></p><p><strong>Financial Planner</strong> -- A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-Eleven for toilet paper and cigarettes.</p><p></p><p><strong>Market Correction</strong> -- The day after you buy stocks.</p><p></p><p><strong>Cash Flow</strong> -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.</p><p></p><p><strong>Yahoo</strong> -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.</p><p></p><p><strong>Windows 2000</strong> -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo at $240 per share.</p><p></p><p><strong>Institutional Investor</strong> -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.</p><p></p><p><strong>Profit</strong> -- Religious guy who talks to God</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 250223, member: 1246"] Market Lingo......... For all of you who are having trouble with the stock market these days, here is a little something to help you put things in perspective. [B]Bull Market[/B] -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. [B]Bear Market[/B] -- A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex. [B]Momentum Investing[/B] -- The fine art of buying high and selling low. [B]Value Investing[/B] -- The art of buying low and selling lower. [B]P/E Ratio[/B] -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. [B]Broker[/B] -- What my broker has made me. [B]Buy, buy[/B] -- A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the plane. [B]Standard & Poor[/B] -- Your life in a nutshell. [B]Stock Analyst[/B] -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock. [B]Stock Split[/B] -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves. [B]Financial Planner[/B] -- A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-Eleven for toilet paper and cigarettes. [B]Market Correction[/B] -- The day after you buy stocks. [B]Cash Flow[/B] -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet. [B]Yahoo[/B] -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share. [B]Windows 2000[/B] -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo at $240 per share. [B]Institutional Investor[/B] -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse. [B]Profit[/B] -- Religious guy who talks to God [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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