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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 254950" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><strong>Headstones......</strong></p><p> </p><p><strong>Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:</strong></p><p><em>Born 1903-Died 1942</em></p><p><em>Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.</em></p><p><em>It was.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:</strong></p><p><em>Here lies an Atheist</em></p><p><em>All dressed up And no place to go.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>In a London, England cemetery:</strong></p><p><em>Here lies Ann Mann,</em></p><p><em>Who lived an old maid</em></p><p><em>But died an old Mann.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:</strong></p><p><em>Anna Wallace</em></p><p><em>The children of Israel wanted bread,</em></p><p><em>And the Lord sent them manna.</em></p><p><em>Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,</em></p><p><em>And the Devil sent him Anna.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:</strong></p><p><em>Here lies Johnny Yeast.</em></p><p><em>Pardon me For not rising.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:</strong></p><p><em>Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.</em></p><p><em>Stepped on the gas</em></p><p><em>Instead of the brake.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:</strong></p><p><em>Here lays The Kid.</em></p><p><em>We planted him raw.</em></p><p><em>He was quick on the trigger</em></p><p><em>But slow on the draw.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>A lawyer's epitaph in England:</strong></p><p><em>Sir John Strange.</em></p><p><em>Here lies an honest lawyer,</em></p><p><em>And that is Strange.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:</strong></p><p><em>Reader, if cash thou art</em></p><p><em>In want of any,</em></p><p><em>Dig 6 feet deep;</em></p><p><em>And thou wilt find a Penny.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:</strong></p><p><em>On the 22nd of June,</em></p><p><em>Jonathan Fiddle Went out of tune.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:</strong></p><p><em>Under the sod and under the trees,</em></p><p><em>Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.</em></p><p><em>He is not here, there's only the pod.</em></p><p><em>Pease shelled out and went to God.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>In a cemetery in England:</strong></p><p><em>Remember man, as you walk by,</em></p><p><em>As you are now, so once was I.</em></p><p><em>As I am now, you soon will be.</em></p><p><em>Prepare yourself and follow me.</em></p><p><strong>To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:</strong></p><p><em>To follow you I'll not consent</em></p><p><em>Until I know which way you went</em></p><p></p><p><strong>Last add, from Boot Hill, in Tombstone, Arizona:</strong></p><p><em>Here lies Lester Moore</em></p><p><em>One slug from a 44</em></p><p><em>No Les</em></p><p><em>No More</em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 254950, member: 1246"] [B]Headstones......[/B] [B]Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:[/B] [I]Born 1903-Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.[/I] [B]In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:[/B] [I]Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to go.[/I] [B]In a London, England cemetery:[/B] [I]Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid But died an old Mann.[/I] [B]In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:[/B] [I]Anna Wallace The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna. Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.[/I] [B]In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:[/B] [I]Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon me For not rising.[/I] [B]In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:[/B] [I]Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas Instead of the brake.[/I] [B]In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:[/B] [I]Here lays The Kid. We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger But slow on the draw.[/I] [B]A lawyer's epitaph in England:[/B] [I]Sir John Strange. Here lies an honest lawyer, And that is Strange.[/I] [B]John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:[/B] [I]Reader, if cash thou art In want of any, Dig 6 feet deep; And thou wilt find a Penny.[/I] [B]In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:[/B] [I]On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle Went out of tune.[/I] [B]On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:[/B] [I]Under the sod and under the trees, Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there's only the pod. Pease shelled out and went to God.[/I] [B]In a cemetery in England:[/B] [I]Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, you soon will be. Prepare yourself and follow me.[/I] [B]To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:[/B] [I]To follow you I'll not consent Until I know which way you went[/I] [B]Last add, from Boot Hill, in Tombstone, Arizona:[/B] [I]Here lies Lester Moore One slug from a 44 No Les No More[/I] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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