Home
Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
Latest activity
Members
Current visitors
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Home
Forums
Brown Cafe UPS Forum
Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="traveler" data-source="post: 286018" data-attributes="member: 1954"><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">Georgia: </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much w ould you take off?" </span></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, </span></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">"Everything but my earrings."</span></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">*************************************************************** </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">Alabama: </span></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. </span></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">"Where's Henry?" the others asked.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied." </span></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired. </span></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">"A tough call," nodded the hunter. </span></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">"But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!" </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">*************************************************************** </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">Louisiana: </span></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">A senior at LSU was overheard saying, "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana." </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world. </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">************************************************************** </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">Mississippi: </span></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was? </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">"The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number." </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">************************************************************** </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">Tennessee: </span></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">The driver replied, "Bout whut?" </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">************************************************************** </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">Arkansas: </span></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">A man in Little Rock had a flat tire, pulled onto the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">The man replied, "I have a flat tire." </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?" </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither." </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">************************************************************** </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">And my favorite: </span></span></span></span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">You can say what you want about the South, </span></span></strong></strong></span></strong></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving North... </span></span></strong></strong></span></strong></span></span></span></span></strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="traveler, post: 286018, member: 1954"] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Tahoma]Georgia: [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Tahoma] The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much w ould you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings." *************************************************************** Alabama: A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked. "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied." You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired. "A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!" [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Tahoma] *************************************************************** Louisiana: A senior at LSU was overheard saying, "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana." When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world. ************************************************************** Mississippi: The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was? "The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number." ************************************************************** Tennessee: A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?" ************************************************************** Arkansas: A man in Little Rock had a flat tire, pulled onto the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied, "I have a flat tire." The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?" The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither." ************************************************************** [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][B][B][FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Tahoma]And my favorite: [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/B][B][FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Tahoma][B] [SIZE=3][B][B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma]You can say what you want about the South, [/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma]but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving North... [/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B][/SIZE][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Home
Forums
Brown Cafe UPS Forum
Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
Top