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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 288066" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red">Understanding Engineers - Take one</span></span></span></strong></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px">Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px">The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike,threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px">The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."</span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px">Understanding Engineers - <strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">Take Two</span></span></span></strong></strong></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px">To the optimist, the glass is half full.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px">To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px">To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.</span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px">Understanding Engineers - <strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #8000ff"><span style="color: #8000ff">Take Three</span></span></span></strong></strong></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="color: #8000ff"><span style="color: #000000">What is the differencebetween mechanical engineers and civil engineers?</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: #000000">Mechanical engineers build weapons</span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: 18px"> and <span style="color: #ff0080"><span style="color: #000000">civil engineers build targets.</span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px">Understanding Engineers - <strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #ff0080"><span style="color: #ff0080">Take Four</span></span></span></strong></strong></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px">The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px">The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px">The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px">The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"</span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px">Understanding Engineers - <strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #804000"><span style="color: #804000">Take Five</span></span></span></strong></strong></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px">Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px">Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.</span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">Understanding Engineers - <strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red">Take Six</span></span></span></strong></strong></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px">An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px">He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px">The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px">The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px">The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px">Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px">Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px">The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 288066, member: 1246"] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=5][B][B][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=red][COLOR=red]Understanding Engineers - Take one[/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/B] Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike,threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=5]Understanding Engineers - [B][B][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]Take Two[/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/B][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=5]To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=5]Understanding Engineers - [B][B][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=#8000ff][COLOR=#8000ff]Take Three[/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/B][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=5][COLOR=#000000][COLOR=#8000ff][COLOR=#000000]What is the differencebetween mechanical engineers and civil engineers?[/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=#000000]Mechanical engineers build weapons[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][SIZE=5] and [COLOR=#ff0080][COLOR=#000000]civil engineers build targets.[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/COLOR] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=5]Understanding Engineers - [B][B][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=#ff0080][COLOR=#ff0080]Take Four[/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/B][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=5]The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=5]Understanding Engineers - [B][B][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=#804000][COLOR=#804000]Take Five[/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/B][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=5]Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.[/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=5]Understanding Engineers - [B][B][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=red][COLOR=red]Take Six[/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/B][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=5]An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."[/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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