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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 293506" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Dictionary Updates..........</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">**Divorce: Future tense of marriage.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">**Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">**Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">**Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">**Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">**Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">**Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">**Classic: books that people praise, but do not read.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">**Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">**Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">**Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">**Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">**Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">**Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">**Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">**Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">**Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">**Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See, I am not injured yet."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">**Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">**Father: A banker provided by nature.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">**Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">**Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">**Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills. </span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 293506, member: 1246"] [FONT=Times New Roman]Dictionary Updates.......... **Divorce: Future tense of marriage. **Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other. **Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" **Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. **Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. **Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power **Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. **Classic: books that people praise, but do not read. **Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight. **Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. **Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. **Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. **Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. **Experience: The name men give to their mistakes. **Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions. **Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. **Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river. **Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See, I am not injured yet." **Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. **Father: A banker provided by nature. **Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught. **Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. **Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills. [/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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