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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 309923" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p>More Quickie Lawyer Jokes......</p><p> </p><p>How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? </p><p>You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb. Now, if you're looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb . . . </p><p></p><p>If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper? </p><p></p><p>What are lawyers good for? </p><p>They make used car salesmen look good. </p><p></p><p>What did the lawyer name his daughter? </p><p>Sue. </p><p></p><p>What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common? </p><p>They're both extinct. </p><p></p><p>What do lawyers and sperm have in common? </p><p>It takes 300,000 of them to make one human being. </p><p></p><p>What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers? </p><p>Skeet. </p><p></p><p>What do you call a lawyer gone bad? </p><p>Senator. </p><p></p><p>What do you do if you run over a lawyer? </p><p>Back over him to make sure. Then, make another notch on the steering wheel. </p><p></p><p>What happens to a lawyer who jumps out of a plane at 35,000 feet without a parachute? </p><p>Who cares? </p><p></p><p>What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer? </p><p>Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do. </p><p></p><p>What type of apparel is the most popular with lawyers? </p><p>Law-suits. </p><p></p><p>What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? </p><p>There are skid marks in front of the dog. </p><p></p><p>What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of dirt? </p><p>The bucket. </p><p></p><p>What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer? </p><p>A doberman. </p><p></p><p>What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar? </p><p>The pronunciation. </p><p></p><p>What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? </p><p>The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles. </p><p></p><p>What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? </p><p>Removable wingtips. </p><p></p><p>What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer? </p><p>One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 309923, member: 1246"] More Quickie Lawyer Jokes...... How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb. Now, if you're looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb . . . If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper? What are lawyers good for? They make used car salesmen look good. What did the lawyer name his daughter? Sue. What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common? They're both extinct. What do lawyers and sperm have in common? It takes 300,000 of them to make one human being. What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers? Skeet. What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator. What do you do if you run over a lawyer? Back over him to make sure. Then, make another notch on the steering wheel. What happens to a lawyer who jumps out of a plane at 35,000 feet without a parachute? Who cares? What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer? Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do. What type of apparel is the most popular with lawyers? Law-suits. What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog. What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of dirt? The bucket. What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer? A doberman. What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar? The pronunciation. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? Removable wingtips. What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer? One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect. [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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