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Brown Cafe UPS Forum
Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 318018" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p>AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES</p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">1. If you're choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. About lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you'll be afraid to cough.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 318018, member: 1246"] AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=4][FONT=Tahoma]1. If you're choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself. 2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.[/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=4][FONT=Tahoma]3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. About lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you'll be afraid to cough. 7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. 8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.[/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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