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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="traveler" data-source="post: 333636" data-attributes="member: 1954"><p><span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: red"><strong>I was particularly frightened by number 17.</strong></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype'"><strong>APHORISM</strong>: A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE EXPRESSING A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH; ADAGE </span></p><p style="margin-left: 20px"><p style="margin-left: 20px"><em><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px">1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.</span></span></em></em></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><em><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px">2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.</span></span></em></em></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><em><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px">3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.</span></span></em></em></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><em><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px">4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.</span></span></em></em></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><em><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px">5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.</span></span></em></em></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><em><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px">6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the</span></span></em></em><span style="font-size: 15px"> <em><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?</span></em></em></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><em><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px">7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.</span></span></em></em></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><em><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px">8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?</span></span></em></em></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><em><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px">9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.</span></span></em></em></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><em><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px">10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.</span></span></em></em></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><em><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px">11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.</span></span></em></em></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><em><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px">12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. Like this: It could be a right number.</span></span></em></em></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><em><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px">13. No one ever says 'It's only a game.' when their team is winning.</span></span></em></em></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><em><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px">14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.</span></span></em></em></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><em><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px">15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.</span></span></em></em></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><em><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px">16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.</span></span></em></em></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><em><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: red"><strong>17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies ! )</strong></span></span></span></em></em></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><em><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px">18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.</span></span></em></em></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><em><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px">19. After 50, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead!</span></span>!</em></em></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><em><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px">20. Always be yourself. Because the people that matter, don't mind. And the ones who mind, don't matter.</span></span></em></em></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> </p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="traveler, post: 333636, member: 1954"] [FONT=Palatino Linotype][SIZE=4][COLOR=red][B]I was particularly frightened by number 17.[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Palatino Linotype][B]APHORISM[/B]: A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE EXPRESSING A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH; ADAGE [/FONT] [INDENT][INDENT][I][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.[/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I] [I][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.[/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I] [I][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.[/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I] [I][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.[/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I] [I][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.[/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I] [I][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the[/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][SIZE=4] [I][I][FONT=Times New Roman]dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?[/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE] [I][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.[/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I] [I][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?[/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I] [I][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.[/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I] [I][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.[/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I] [I][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.[/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I] [I][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. Like this: It could be a right number.[/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I] [I][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]13. No one ever says 'It's only a game.' when their team is winning.[/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I] [I][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.[/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I] [I][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.[/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I] [I][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.[/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I] [I][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4][COLOR=red][B]17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies ! )[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I] [I][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.[/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I] [I][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]19. After 50, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead![/SIZE][/FONT]![/I][/I] [I][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]20. Always be yourself. Because the people that matter, don't mind. And the ones who mind, don't matter.[/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I] [/INDENT][/INDENT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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