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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="traveler" data-source="post: 335940" data-attributes="member: 1954"><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><strong>The Navy found they had too many IT officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any IT officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be. </strong></span></span></span></strong></p><p style="margin-left: 20px"><p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><strong>The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of His head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000. </strong></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><strong>The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000. </strong></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><strong>The third one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.' </strong></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><strong>It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer. </strong></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><strong>The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which He did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where Are your testicles?' </strong></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Bright'"><strong>The old Chief calmly replied, 'Vietnam.</strong></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="traveler, post: 335940, member: 1954"] [B][FONT=Californian FB][SIZE=4][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue][FONT='Californian FB'][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Lucida Bright][SIZE=4][FONT='Lucida Bright'][B]The Navy found they had too many IT officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any IT officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be. [/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [INDENT][INDENT][B][FONT=Lucida Bright][SIZE=4][FONT='Lucida Bright'][B] The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of His head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000. [/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Lucida Bright][SIZE=4][FONT='Lucida Bright'][B] The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000. [/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Lucida Bright][SIZE=4][FONT='Lucida Bright'][B] The third one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.' [/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Lucida Bright][SIZE=4][FONT='Lucida Bright'][B] It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer. [/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Lucida Bright][SIZE=4][FONT='Lucida Bright'][B] The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which He did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where Are your testicles?' [/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Lucida Bright][SIZE=4][FONT='Lucida Bright'][B] The old Chief calmly replied, 'Vietnam.[/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [/INDENT] [/INDENT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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