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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 337776" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>WHY AM I MARRIED?</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><strong>You have two choices in life: </strong></span></span></span></span><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: navy">You can stay single and be miserable, </span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: navy">or get married and wish you were dead.</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: teal"><span style="color: teal"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong>At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, </strong></span></span></span></span><span style="color: teal"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: teal"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: teal">"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: teal"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: teal">"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: purple"><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:</strong></span></span></span></span><span style="color: purple"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: purple"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: purple">"Husband Wanted". </span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: purple"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: purple">Next day she received a hundred letters.</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: purple"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: purple">They all said the same thing:</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: purple"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: purple">"You can have mine."</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: green"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong>When a woman steals your husband,</strong></span></span></span></span><span style="color: green"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: green"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: green">there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. </span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong>A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: olive"><span style="color: olive"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong>A little boy asked his father,</strong></span></span></span></span><span style="color: olive"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: olive"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: olive">"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: olive"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: olive">Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: green"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">A young son asked,</span></span></span></span><span style="color: green"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: green">"Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa </span></span></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: green">a man doesn't know his wife until he m arries her?"</span></span></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: green">Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."</span></span></span></span></span><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: purple"><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>Then there was a woman who said,</strong></span></span></span></span><span style="color: purple"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: purple"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: purple">"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, </span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: purple"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: purple">and by then, it was too late.</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: green"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><strong>Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. </strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>If you want your spouse to listen and </strong></span></span></span></span><span style="color: maroon"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: maroon"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: maroon">pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: green"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong>Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. </strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: fuchsia"><span style="color: fuchsia"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong>First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"</strong></span></span></span></span><span style="color: fuchsia"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: fuchsia"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: fuchsia">Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive." </span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>"A Woman's Prayer:</strong></span></span></span></span><span style="color: blue"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: blue"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: blue">Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death" </span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong><strong><u><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong>AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!</strong></span></span></span></span></span></u></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong>Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. </strong></span></span></span></span><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: navy">So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." </span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: navy">The blind man replies, "If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut up.</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 337776, member: 1246"] [B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=7][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Arial][B]WHY AM I MARRIED?[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [CENTER][B][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana][B]You have two choices in life: [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][COLOR=navy] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=navy]You can stay single and be miserable, [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=navy]or get married and wish you were dead.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=4][COLOR=teal][COLOR=teal][FONT=Tahoma][B]At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][COLOR=teal] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=teal]"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=teal]"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=4][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial][B]A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][COLOR=purple] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Arial][COLOR=purple]"Husband Wanted". [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Arial][COLOR=purple]Next day she received a hundred letters.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Arial][COLOR=purple]They all said the same thing:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Arial][COLOR=purple]"You can have mine."[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=4][COLOR=green][COLOR=green][FONT=Tahoma][B]When a woman steals your husband,[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][COLOR=green] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=green]there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=4][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Tahoma][B]A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=4][COLOR=olive][COLOR=olive][FONT=Tahoma][B]A little boy asked his father,[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][COLOR=olive] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=olive]"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=olive]Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=4][COLOR=green][COLOR=green][FONT=Tahoma]A young son asked,[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][COLOR=green] [SIZE=4][FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=green]"Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=green]a man doesn't know his wife until he m arries her?"[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=green]Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT][B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=4][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial][B]Then there was a woman who said,[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][COLOR=purple] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Arial][COLOR=purple]"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Arial][COLOR=purple]and by then, it was too late.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=green][COLOR=green][FONT=Verdana][B]Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Arial][B]If you want your spouse to listen and [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][COLOR=maroon] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Arial][COLOR=maroon]pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=4][COLOR=green][COLOR=green][FONT=Tahoma][B]Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=4][COLOR=fuchsia][COLOR=fuchsia][FONT=Tahoma][B]First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][COLOR=fuchsia] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=fuchsia]Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive." [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=4][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue][FONT=Arial][B]"A Woman's Prayer:[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][COLOR=blue] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Arial][COLOR=blue]Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death" [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][U][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=4][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Tahoma][B]AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!![/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][/B][B][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=4][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Tahoma][B]Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][COLOR=navy] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=navy]So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=navy]The blind man replies, "If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut up.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [/CENTER] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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