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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 338164" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p>Why did the chicken cross the road?</p><p></p><p></p><p>According to...</p><p></p><p></p><p>BARACK OBAMA:</p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">JOHN MC CAIN:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">HILLARY CLINTON:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me....... </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">DR. PHIL:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">help him realize how stupid he ' s acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT'</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">problems before adding 'NEW' problems.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">OPRAH:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">not live his life like the rest of the chickens.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">GEORGE W. BUSH:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">COLIN POWELL:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">of the chicken crossing the road...</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">ANDERSON</span></span> COOPER - CNN:</p><p>We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been</p><p>allowed to have access to the other side of the road.</p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">JOHN KERRY:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken ' s</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">NANCY GRACE:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">eyes and the way he walks.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">PAT BUCHANAN:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">MARTHA STEWART:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">DR SEUSS:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">ERNEST HEMINGWAY:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">To die in the rain. Alone.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">JERRY FALWELL:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?'</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like ' the other side.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">simple as that.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">GRANDPA:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">BARBARA WALTERS:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">life long dream of crossing the road.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">ARISTOTLE:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">JOHN LENNON:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">BILL GATES:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">platform is much more stable and will neve</span></span>r cra...#&&^(C%<span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> .</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">reboot.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">ALBERT EINSTEIN:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">chicken?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">BILL CLINTON:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">chicken?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">AL GORE:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">I invented the chicken!</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">COLONEL SANDERS:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Did I miss one?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">DICK CHENEY:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Where's my gun?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">AL SHARPTON:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 338164, member: 1246"] Why did the chicken cross the road? According to... BARACK OBAMA: [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE![/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me....... [/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]DR. PHIL:[/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he ' s acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.[/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]OPRAH:[/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.[/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]GEORGE W. BUSH:[/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.[/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]COLIN POWELL:[/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...[/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]ANDERSON[/SIZE][/FONT] COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]JOHN KERRY:[/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken ' s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.[/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]NANCY GRACE:[/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.[/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]PAT BUCHANAN:[/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.[/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]MARTHA STEWART:[/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.[/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]DR SEUSS:[/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.[/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]ERNEST HEMINGWAY:[/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]To die in the rain. Alone.[/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]JERRY FALWELL:[/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like ' the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.[/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]GRANDPA:[/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.[/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]BARBARA WALTERS:[/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.[/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]ARISTOTLE:[/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.[/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]JOHN LENNON:[/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.[/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]BILL GATES:[/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will neve[/FONT][/SIZE]r cra...#&&^(C%[SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] . reboot.[/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]ALBERT EINSTEIN:[/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?[/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]BILL CLINTON:[/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?[/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]AL GORE:[/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]I invented the chicken![/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]COLONEL SANDERS:[/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]Did I miss one?[/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]DICK CHENEY:[/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]Where's my gun?[/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]AL SHARPTON:[/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.[/FONT][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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