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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 349646" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p>LUTHERAN AIRLINES</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">WE ARE PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE LUTHERAN AIRLINES IS NOW OPERATING IN MINNYSOTA!</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">ALSO SERVING VISCONSIN, NORDERN MITCHIGEN, NORT & SOUT DAKOTA</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">If you are travelin soon, consider Lutran Air, the no-frills airline.You're all in da same boat on Lutran Air, here flyin is a upliftinexperience. Dair is no first class on any Lutran Air flight.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Meals are potluck. Rows 1 tru 6, bring rolls; 7 tru 15, bring a salad;16 tru 21, a hot dish, and 22-30, a dessert.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of da aircraft.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">All fares are by free will offering, and da plane will not land til da budget is met.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Pay attention to your flight attendant, who vill acquaint you wit dasafety system aboard dis Lutran Air. Okay den, listen up; I'm only </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">gonna say dis vonce:</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">In da event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly gonna bereal surprised and so vill Captain Olson, because ve fly right around</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">two tousand feet, so loss of cabin pressure would probably mean daSecond Coming or someting of dat nature, and I wouldn't bodder with doze</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">liddle masks on da rubber tubes--you're gonna have bigger tings to worryabout den dat. Just stuff doze back up in dair liddle holes.Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence which, to be honest wit you,we're gonna have quite a bit of at two tousand feet, sorta like drivingacross a plowed field, but after a while you get used to it.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">In da event of a water landing, I'd say forget it. Start saying daLord's Prayer and just hope you get to da part about forgive us our sinsas we forgive dose who sin against us, which some people say 'trespassagainst us,' which isn't right, but what can you do?</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden, not bec ause daymay confuse da plane's navigation system, which is by da pants all daway. No, it's because cell phones are a pain in da wazoo, and if Godhad meant you to use a cell phone, He wudda put your mout on da sideof your head.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">We start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style wit da coffeepot up front.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Den we'll have da hymn sing; hymnals are in da seat pockets in front of you.Don't take yours wit you when you go or I am gonna be real upsetand I am not kiddin!</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Right now I'll say Grace:</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">and let deze gifts to us be blessed.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Fader, Son, and Holy Ghost,</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">May we land in Dulut or pretty close.</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 349646, member: 1246"] LUTHERAN AIRLINES [FONT=Arial][FONT=Times New Roman]WE ARE PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE LUTHERAN AIRLINES IS NOW OPERATING IN MINNYSOTA![/FONT] [FONT=Arial]ALSO SERVING VISCONSIN, NORDERN MITCHIGEN, NORT & SOUT DAKOTA[/FONT] [/FONT][FONT=Arial]If you are travelin soon, consider Lutran Air, the no-frills airline.You're all in da same boat on Lutran Air, here flyin is a upliftinexperience. Dair is no first class on any Lutran Air flight.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Meals are potluck. Rows 1 tru 6, bring rolls; 7 tru 15, bring a salad;16 tru 21, a hot dish, and 22-30, a dessert.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of da aircraft.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]All fares are by free will offering, and da plane will not land til da budget is met.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Pay attention to your flight attendant, who vill acquaint you wit dasafety system aboard dis Lutran Air. Okay den, listen up; I'm only [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]gonna say dis vonce:[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]In da event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly gonna bereal surprised and so vill Captain Olson, because ve fly right around[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]two tousand feet, so loss of cabin pressure would probably mean daSecond Coming or someting of dat nature, and I wouldn't bodder with doze[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]liddle masks on da rubber tubes--you're gonna have bigger tings to worryabout den dat. Just stuff doze back up in dair liddle holes.Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence which, to be honest wit you,we're gonna have quite a bit of at two tousand feet, sorta like drivingacross a plowed field, but after a while you get used to it.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]In da event of a water landing, I'd say forget it. Start saying daLord's Prayer and just hope you get to da part about forgive us our sinsas we forgive dose who sin against us, which some people say 'trespassagainst us,' which isn't right, but what can you do?[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden, not bec ause daymay confuse da plane's navigation system, which is by da pants all daway. No, it's because cell phones are a pain in da wazoo, and if Godhad meant you to use a cell phone, He wudda put your mout on da sideof your head.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]We start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style wit da coffeepot up front.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Den we'll have da hymn sing; hymnals are in da seat pockets in front of you.Don't take yours wit you when you go or I am gonna be real upsetand I am not kiddin![/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Right now I'll say Grace:[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]and let deze gifts to us be blessed.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Fader, Son, and Holy Ghost,[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]May we land in Dulut or pretty close.[/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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