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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 368439" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Things I have learned living in North Carolina ......</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road .</strong></span></span></span></span><span style="color: black"></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in North Carolina</span></span></span></strong></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">3.. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in North Carolina , plus a couple no one's seen before</span></span></span></strong></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.</span></span></span></strong></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">5.'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words</span></span></span></strong></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.</span></span></span></strong></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">7. 'Jaw-P?' means 'Did y'all go to the bathroom?' </span></span></span></strong></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">8.People actually grow and eat okra.</span></span></span></strong></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">9. 'Fixinto' is one word.</span></span></span></strong></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">10. There is no such thing as 'lunch'. There is only dinner and then there is supper.</span></span></span></strong></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar</span></span></span></strong></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">12. Backwards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.'</span></span></span></strong></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">13. The word 'Jeet' is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'</span></span></span></strong></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">14. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.</span></span></span></strong></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.</span></span></span></strong></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">MORE YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM NORTH CAROLINA IF: </span></span></span></strong></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">1. You measure distance in minutes.</span></span></span></strong></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">2. You've ever had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day.</span></span></span></strong></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">3. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.</span></span></span></strong></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">4. You know what a 'DAWG' is.</span></span></span></strong></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">5. You carry jumper cables in your car ..</span></span></span></strong></span><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> <strong><em><strong><em>For your OWN car.</em></strong></em></strong></span></span></span></span><span style="color: black"><strong><em></em></strong></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"><strong><em></em></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><em></em><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">6. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and Ketchup.</span></span></span></strong></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">7. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip an d motorsports.</span></span></span></strong></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">8. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.</span></span></span></strong></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">9. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm'.</span></span></span></strong></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">10. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Christmas.</span></span></span></strong></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">11. Going to <a href="http://www.walmart.com/" target="_blank"><u><span style="color: #0000ff">Wal-Mart</span></u></a> is a favorite past time known as 'goin' Wal-Martin' or 'off to Wally World' or off to 'Wal-Mart's'.</span></span></span></strong><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">12. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chicken stew weather</span></span></strong></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">13. Fried catfish is the other white meat.</span></span></strong></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">14. We don't need no dang driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit.</span></span></strong></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">15. You understand these jokes and forward them to your North Carolina friends and those who just wish they were from North Carolina .</span></span></strong></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 368439, member: 1246"] [B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=4]Things I have learned living in North Carolina ......[/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][B]1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road .[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][COLOR=black] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in North Carolina[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]3.. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in North Carolina , plus a couple no one's seen before[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]5.'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]7. 'Jaw-P?' means 'Did y'all go to the bathroom?' [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]8.People actually grow and eat okra.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]9. 'Fixinto' is one word.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]10. There is no such thing as 'lunch'. There is only dinner and then there is supper.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]12. Backwards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.'[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]13. The word 'Jeet' is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]14. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]MORE YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM NORTH CAROLINA IF: [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]1. You measure distance in minutes.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]2. You've ever had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]3. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]4. You know what a 'DAWG' is.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]5. You carry jumper cables in your car ..[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [B][I][B][I]For your OWN car.[/I][/B][/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][COLOR=black][B][I] [/I][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]6. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and Ketchup.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]7. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip an d motorsports.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]8. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]9. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm'.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]10. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Christmas.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]11. Going to [URL="http://www.walmart.com/"][U][COLOR=#0000ff]Wal-Mart[/COLOR][/U][/URL] is a favorite past time known as 'goin' Wal-Martin' or 'off to Wally World' or off to 'Wal-Mart's'.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][COLOR=black] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]12. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chicken stew weather[/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]13. Fried catfish is the other white meat.[/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]14. We don't need no dang driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit.[/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]15. You understand these jokes and forward them to your North Carolina friends and those who just wish they were from North Carolina .[/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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