Home
Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
Latest activity
Members
Current visitors
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Home
Forums
Brown Cafe UPS Forum
Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 370275" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #cc0000">More Hollywood Squares Comebacks.....</span></span><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #004080"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">These are from the days when game show responses were spontaneous: </span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">Q: Do female frogs croak?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">Q: Imagine you are a child in your mother's womb, can you detect light?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">A: Paul Lynde: Only during ballet practice.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">Q: True or false...a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes...</span></span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">A: Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and ask him if he's married?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I love you"?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">Q: What are "Do It," "I Can Help" and "Can't Get Enough"?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">A: George Gobel: I don't know but it's coming from the next apartment.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I'm too busy. growing strawberries!</span></span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">Q: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!</span></span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body - what is it?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected!</span></span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">Q: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150 pounds?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">A: Charley Weaver: A divorcee.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for it's sex?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #004080">A: Charley Weaver: His feet.</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 370275, member: 1246"] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#cc0000]More Hollywood Squares Comebacks.....[/COLOR][/FONT][CENTER][SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial]These are from the days when game show responses were spontaneous: [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]Q: Do female frogs croak?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]Q: Imagine you are a child in your mother's womb, can you detect light?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]A: Paul Lynde: Only during ballet practice.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]Q: True or false...a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes...[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]A: Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and ask him if he's married?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I love you"?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]Q: What are "Do It," "I Can Help" and "Can't Get Enough"?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]A: George Gobel: I don't know but it's coming from the next apartment.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I'm too busy. growing strawberries![/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]Q: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army![/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body - what is it?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected![/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]Q: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150 pounds?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]A: Charley Weaver: A divorcee.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for it's sex?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#004080]A: Charley Weaver: His feet.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Home
Forums
Brown Cafe UPS Forum
Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
Top
