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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 378918" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Cowboy story </span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">A cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water.</span></span></span></span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>His horse has already died of thirst. He's crawling through the sand, </strong></span></span></span></span><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. </span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">looks to be an old briefcase. He opens it and out pops a genie. But this</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>is no ordinary genie. </strong></span></span></span></span><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">She is wearing a FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) ID</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>badge and a dull gray dress. There's a calculator in her pocketbook.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>She has a pencil tucked behind one ear. "Well, cowboy," says the genie.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>"You know how I work....</strong></span></span></span></span><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">You have three wishes." </span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">"I'm not falling for this.", said the cowboy. "I'm not going to trust a</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">FEMA genie." </span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">"What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">like you're a goner anyway!" </span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">right. </span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">"OK! I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink" </span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">***POOF*** </span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen,</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">and he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies. </span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">"OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish." </span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">"My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams." </span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">***POOF*** </span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare </span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">gold coins and precious gems. </span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">"OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">one!" </span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says..."I wish that no</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me." </span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">***POOF*** </span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">He was turned into a tampon. </span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">The moral of the story: If the government offers you anything, there's</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: navy">going to be a string attached. </span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 378918, member: 1246"] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]Cowboy story [/SIZE][/FONT] [B][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Comic Sans MS]A cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water.[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=navy] [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]His horse has already died of thirst. He's crawling through the sand, [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][COLOR=navy] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]looks to be an old briefcase. He opens it and out pops a genie. But this[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]is no ordinary genie. [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][COLOR=navy] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]She is wearing a FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) ID[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]badge and a dull gray dress. There's a calculator in her pocketbook.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]She has a pencil tucked behind one ear. "Well, cowboy," says the genie.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]"You know how I work....[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][COLOR=navy] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]You have three wishes." [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]"I'm not falling for this.", said the cowboy. "I'm not going to trust a[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]FEMA genie." [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]"What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]like you're a goner anyway!" [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]right. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]"OK! I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink" [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]***POOF*** [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen,[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]and he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]"OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish." [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]"My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams." [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]***POOF*** [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]gold coins and precious gems. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]"OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]one!" [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says..."I wish that no[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me." [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]***POOF*** [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]He was turned into a tampon. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]The moral of the story: If the government offers you anything, there's[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=navy]going to be a string attached. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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