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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 382384" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT OF THE U.S. </strong></span></p><p></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><strong>HERE IS MY PLATFORM: </strong></span></span></span></strong><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><strong><strong><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'">(1) Press 1 for English is immediately banned. </span></span></strong></strong></span></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><strong>English is the official language. Speak it, <u>or wait at the border until you can!!</u></strong></span></span></span></strong> </p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><strong>(2) We will immediately go into a two-year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. </strong></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><strong>We will use the 'WalMart' policy: <em><em>'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'</em></em> </strong></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'">(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.</span></span></strong></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'">(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border. (Six month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.</span></span></strong></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'">(5) Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin' in, you ain't gettin' nuttin' out. Neither the president, nor any other politician will be able to touch it.</span></span></strong></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'">(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40-hour school week, and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade.</span></span></strong></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'">(7) Professional Athletes -- Steroids - NO SECOND CHANCES!!! The FIRST time you check positive, you will be banned for life.</span></span></strong></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'">(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method: The first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There will be no more life sentences -- if you are convicted of a Capitol Offense, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim, gun, knife, strangulation, etc.</span></span></strong></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'">(9) One export will be allowed - WHEAT -- The world needs to eat. <u>A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil</u>.</span></span></strong></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'">(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.</span></span></strong></span></strong> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'">(11) <strong><u><strong>The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress -- right after the PRAYER TO GOD!!!</strong></u></strong></span></span></span> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'">(12) <strong><strong>The National Anthem will be played, AND <u>a prayer</u> WILL be said at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc., starting IMMEDIATELY!!! </strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><strong>I don't apologize if I stepped on anyone's toes!!! Just letting you know that a vote for me will get you better than what you have now, <span style="color: red"><span style="color: red">and better than what you're gonna get, UNLESS THEY CHANGE TO MY PLATFORM!!! </span></span></strong></span></span></span></strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 382384, member: 1246"] [FONT=Arial][B]I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT OF THE U.S. [/B][/FONT] [B][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif][SIZE=4][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif][B]HERE IS MY PLATFORM: [/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif] [B] [B][SIZE=5][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif](1) Press 1 for English is immediately banned. [/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/B][/FONT] [B][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif][SIZE=5][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif][B]English is the official language. Speak it, [U]or wait at the border until you can!![/U][/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif][SIZE=5][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif][B](2) We will immediately go into a two-year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. [/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif][SIZE=5][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif][B]We will use the 'WalMart' policy: [I][I]'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'[/I][/I] [/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif] [B][SIZE=5][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif](3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.[/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif] [B][SIZE=5][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif](4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border. (Six month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.[/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif] [B][SIZE=5][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif](5) Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin' in, you ain't gettin' nuttin' out. Neither the president, nor any other politician will be able to touch it.[/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif] [B][SIZE=5][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif](6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40-hour school week, and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade.[/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif] [B][SIZE=5][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif](7) Professional Athletes -- Steroids - NO SECOND CHANCES!!! The FIRST time you check positive, you will be banned for life.[/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif] [B][SIZE=5][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif](8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method: The first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There will be no more life sentences -- if you are convicted of a Capitol Offense, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim, gun, knife, strangulation, etc.[/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif] [B][SIZE=5][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif](9) One export will be allowed - WHEAT -- The world needs to eat. [U]A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil[/U].[/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif] [B][SIZE=5][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif](10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.[/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif] [SIZE=5][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif](11) [B][U][B]The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress -- right after the PRAYER TO GOD!!![/B][/U][/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif] [SIZE=5][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif](12) [B][B]The National Anthem will be played, AND [U]a prayer[/U] WILL be said at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc., starting IMMEDIATELY!!! [/B][/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT] [B][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif][SIZE=5][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif][B]I don't apologize if I stepped on anyone's toes!!! Just letting you know that a vote for me will get you better than what you have now, [COLOR=red][COLOR=red]and better than what you're gonna get, UNLESS THEY CHANGE TO MY PLATFORM!!! [/COLOR][/COLOR][/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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