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Message: <blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 384135" data-attributes="member: 1246">THE REAL RULES OF GOLFThe shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces, and bounces just the way you meant to play it.You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch 90% of the time.Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his back swing by his handicap. Example: back swing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing 300mph.There are two things you can learn by stopping your back swing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.Hazards attract; fairways repel.You can put "draw" on the ball, you can put "fade" on the ball, but no golfer can put "straight" on the ball.A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker.If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it. </blockquote>