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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 385126" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p>I just want to thank all of you for your educational emails over the past year. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">Thanks to you, I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a</span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">paper towel.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #339965"><span style="color: #339965"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #339965"><span style="color: #339965"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>I can't enjoy lemon slices in my tea or on my seafood anymore because lemon peels have been found to contain all kinds of nasty germs including feces. </strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the</strong></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>number one pass-time while driving alone is picking your nose (although</strong></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot)</strong></span></span></span>.</strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: #993366"><span style="color: #993366"><strong>Eating a Little Debbie sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.</strong></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: green"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong>I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom. Yuck!</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #2866ff"><span style="color: #2866ff"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong>I must send my special thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #2866ff"><span style="color: #2866ff"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong>glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #2866ff"><span style="color: #2866ff"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong>that needs sealing.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong>Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.</strong></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong>I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown)</strong></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong>who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.</strong></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #408000"><span style="color: #408000"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong>I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: #408000"><span style="color: #408000"><strong>$15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.</strong></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Rockwell'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Rockwell'">I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out</span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Rockwell'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Rockwell'">for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 22px">I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.</span></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #ff6600"><span style="color: #ff6600"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #ff6600"><span style="color: #ff6600"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>buffalo on a hot day.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong>Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward</strong></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong>an email to seven of my friends and make a wish</strong></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong>within five minutes.</strong></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><strong>Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.</strong></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #339965"><span style="color: #339965"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong>I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #339965"><span style="color: #339965"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><strong>so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas..</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #9a3300"><span style="color: #9a3300"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><strong>I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #9a3300"><span style="color: #9a3300"><strong>products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God'</strong></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><strong> <span style="color: #9a3300"><span style="color: #9a3300">on their cans.</span></span></strong></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 18px"><strong>I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.</strong></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Rockwell'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #7f7f7f"><span style="color: #7f7f7f"><span style="font-family: 'Rockwell'"><strong>And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Rockwell'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #7f7f7f"><span style="color: #7f7f7f"><span style="font-family: 'Rockwell'"><strong>anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #993366"><span style="color: #993366"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #993366"><span style="color: #993366"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>with a needle infected with AIDS.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 18px"><strong>I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume</strong></span></strong><strong><span style="font-size: 18px"><strong>sample and rob me.</strong></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.</strong></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Rockwell'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #804000"><span style="color: #804000"><span style="font-family: 'Rockwell'"><strong>I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Rockwell'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #804000"><span style="color: #804000"><span style="font-family: 'Rockwell'"><strong>American troops or the Salvation Army.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #339965"><span style="color: #339965"><strong>I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number</strong></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #339965"><span style="color: #339965"><strong>for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda & Singapore and Uzbekistan .</strong></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their</strong></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong> recipe.</strong></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Rockwell'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: #ff6600"><span style="color: #ff6600"><span style="font-family: 'Rockwell'"><strong>Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Rockwell'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: #ff6600"><span style="color: #ff6600"><span style="font-family: 'Rockwell'"><strong> African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial Black'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: #993366"><span style="color: #993366"><strong>And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the</strong></span></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial Black'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: #993366"><span style="color: #993366"><strong>parking lot because it probably was placed there by</strong></span></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial Black'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: #993366"><span style="color: #993366"><strong>a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg. </strong></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!</strong></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Rockwell'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: #ff6600"><span style="color: #ff6600"><span style="font-family: 'Rockwell'"><strong>Have a wonderful day... </strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial Black'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: #339965"><span style="color: #339965"><strong>Oh, by the way.....</strong></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Rockwell'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="font-family: 'Rockwell'"><strong>A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.</strong></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><strong>Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late</strong></span></span></span></strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 385126, member: 1246"] I just want to thank all of you for your educational emails over the past year. [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=5][FONT=Tahoma]Thanks to you, I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a[/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=5][FONT=Tahoma]paper towel.[/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT] [B][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=5][COLOR=#339965][COLOR=#339965][FONT=Georgia][B]I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=5][COLOR=#339965][COLOR=#339965][FONT=Georgia][B]I can't enjoy lemon slices in my tea or on my seafood anymore because lemon peels have been found to contain all kinds of nasty germs including feces. [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=5][FONT=Georgia][B]I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the[/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=5][FONT=Georgia][B]number one pass-time while driving alone is picking your nose (although[/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=5][FONT=Georgia][B]cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot)[/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT].[/B] [B][SIZE=6][COLOR=#993366][COLOR=#993366][B]Eating a Little Debbie sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=5][COLOR=green][COLOR=green][FONT=Tahoma][B]I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom. Yuck![/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=5][COLOR=#2866ff][COLOR=#2866ff][FONT=Tahoma][B]I must send my special thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=5][COLOR=#2866ff][COLOR=#2866ff][FONT=Tahoma][B]glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=5][COLOR=#2866ff][COLOR=#2866ff][FONT=Tahoma][B]that needs sealing.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=5][FONT=Tahoma][B]Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.[/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=5][FONT=Tahoma][B]I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown)[/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=5][FONT=Tahoma][B]who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.[/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=5][COLOR=#408000][COLOR=#408000][FONT=Tahoma][B]I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][SIZE=6][COLOR=#408000][COLOR=#408000][B]$15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [FONT=Rockwell][SIZE=6][FONT=Rockwell]I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out[/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Rockwell][SIZE=6][FONT=Rockwell]for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.[/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=6]I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.[/SIZE] [B][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=5][COLOR=#ff6600][COLOR=#ff6600][FONT=Georgia][B]I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=5][COLOR=#ff6600][COLOR=#ff6600][FONT=Georgia][B]buffalo on a hot day.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=5][FONT=Tahoma][B]Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward[/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=5][FONT=Tahoma][B]an email to seven of my friends and make a wish[/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=5][FONT=Tahoma][B]within five minutes.[/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][SIZE=6][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][B]Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=5][COLOR=#339965][COLOR=#339965][FONT=Tahoma][B]I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=5][COLOR=#339965][COLOR=#339965][FONT=Tahoma][B]so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas..[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=#9a3300][COLOR=#9a3300][FONT=Verdana][B]I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][SIZE=5][COLOR=#9a3300][COLOR=#9a3300][B]products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God'[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][B][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][B] [COLOR=#9a3300][COLOR=#9a3300]on their cans.[/COLOR][/COLOR][/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][SIZE=5][B]I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.[/B][/SIZE][/B] [B][FONT=Rockwell][SIZE=5][COLOR=#7f7f7f][COLOR=#7f7f7f][FONT=Rockwell][B]And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Rockwell][SIZE=5][COLOR=#7f7f7f][COLOR=#7f7f7f][FONT=Rockwell][B]anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=5][COLOR=#993366][COLOR=#993366][FONT=Georgia][B]I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=5][COLOR=#993366][COLOR=#993366][FONT=Georgia][B]with a needle infected with AIDS.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][SIZE=5][B]I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume[/B][/SIZE][/B][B][SIZE=5][B]sample and rob me.[/B][/SIZE][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=5][FONT=Georgia][B]I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.[/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Rockwell][SIZE=5][COLOR=#804000][COLOR=#804000][FONT=Rockwell][B]I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Rockwell][SIZE=5][COLOR=#804000][COLOR=#804000][FONT=Rockwell][B]American troops or the Salvation Army.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][SIZE=5][COLOR=#339965][COLOR=#339965][B]I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][B][SIZE=5][COLOR=#339965][COLOR=#339965][B]for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda & Singapore and Uzbekistan .[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=5][FONT=Georgia][B]I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their[/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=5][FONT=Georgia][B] recipe.[/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Rockwell][SIZE=6][COLOR=#ff6600][COLOR=#ff6600][FONT=Rockwell][B]Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Rockwell][SIZE=6][COLOR=#ff6600][COLOR=#ff6600][FONT=Rockwell][B] African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial Black][SIZE=6][COLOR=#993366][COLOR=#993366][B]And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial Black][SIZE=6][COLOR=#993366][COLOR=#993366][B]parking lot because it probably was placed there by[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial Black][SIZE=6][COLOR=#993366][COLOR=#993366][B]a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg. [/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=7][FONT=Georgia][B]I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies![/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=6][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue][FONT=Georgia][B]If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Rockwell][SIZE=6][COLOR=#ff6600][COLOR=#ff6600][FONT=Rockwell][B]Have a wonderful day... [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial Black][SIZE=6][COLOR=#339965][COLOR=#339965][B]Oh, by the way.....[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Rockwell][SIZE=7][FONT=Rockwell][B]A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.[/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][SIZE=6][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][B]Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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