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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 385753" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><strong><span style="color: #010101"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial Black'"><span style="color: seagreen">And then the fight started......</span></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: #010101"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive....so, I took her to a gas station..... and then the fight started....</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">********************************************************</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And that's when the fight started.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">************************************************************************</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too'</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">And that's when the fight started.....</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">***********************************************************************</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">And that's when the fight started....</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">************************************************************</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">And that's when the fight started.....</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">************************************************************************</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">'Nah, she can order for herself.'</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: black">And that's when the fight started.....</span></span></strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 385753, member: 1246"] [B][COLOR=#010101][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Arial Black][COLOR=seagreen]And then the fight started......[/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#010101][FONT=Tahoma]When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive....so, I took her to a gas station..... and then the fight started....[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]********************************************************[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And that's when the fight started.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]************************************************************************[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too'[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]And that's when the fight started.....[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]***********************************************************************[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]And that's when the fight started....[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]************************************************************[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!![/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]And that's when the fight started.....[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]************************************************************************[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]'Nah, she can order for herself.'[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black]And that's when the fight started.....[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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