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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Big Babooba" data-source="post: 389170" data-attributes="member: 5402">  WOMAN'S  PERFECT BREAKFAST          She's  sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the  Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend  is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk  carton.     WOMEN'S  REVENGE 'Cash,  check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to  purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a  television set in her purse. 'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I  asked. 'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,  and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him  legally.'   UNDERSTANDING  WOMEN (A  MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never  understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh,  rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a  spider.    CIGARETTES  AND TAMPONS A  man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up &down the aisles. The sales girl  notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking  for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct  aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball  of string on the counter. She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were  looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, 'You see, it's like this,  yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she  came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's  sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own  ............ so does she. (I figure this guy is the one on the milk  carton!)    WIFE  VS. HUSBAND A  couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An  earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede  their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the  husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?' 'Yep,' the wife replied,  'in-laws.'    WORDS A  husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a  day...30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, 'The reason has to be  because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his  wife and asked, 'What?'    CREATION A  man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so  beautiful all at the same time. 'The wife responded, 'Allow me to  explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made  me stupid so I would be attracted to you!    A  WHO DOES WHAT A  man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each  morning. The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first, and then  we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee. The husband said, 'You are  in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job,  and I can just wait for my coffee.' Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and  besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.' Husband  replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.' So she fetched the Bible, and  opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it  indeed says . 'HEBREWS'    The  Silent Treatment A  man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other  the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would  need his wife to wake him at 5:00  AM  for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break  the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at  5:00  AM.'  He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke  up, only to discover it was 9:00  AM  and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife  hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper  said, 'It is 5:00  AM.  Wake up.' Men are not equipped for these kinds of  contests.    God  may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the  masterpiece.  </blockquote>

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