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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="Catatonic" data-source="post: 390747" data-attributes="member: 7966"><p><u><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: red">Men strike back! </span></span></span></strong></u></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: red">How many men does it take to open a beer?</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal">None. It should be opened when she brings it.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal">-----------------------------------------------------------</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: red">Why is a Laundromat</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: red">a really bad place to pick up a woman?</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal">Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probabl y never be able to support you. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal">-----------------------------------------------------------</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: red">Why do women have smaller feet than men?</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal">It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal">them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: red">-----------------------------------------------------------</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: red">How do you know when</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: red">a woman is about to say something smart?</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal">When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....' </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal">-----------------------------------------------------------</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: red">How do you fix a woman's watch?</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal">You don't. There is a clock on the oven. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal">----------------------------------------------------------</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: red">If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal">The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal">-- --------------------------------------------------------</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: red">I married a Miss Right.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal">I just didn't know her first name was Always. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal">-----------------------------------------------------------</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: red">Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: red">a woman's sex drive by 90%.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal">It's called a Wedding Cake.</span></span></p><p><strong><span style="color: teal"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px">----------------------------------------------------</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: red">Why do men die before their wives? </span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal">They want to. </span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal">------------------------------------------------------</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: red">Women will never be equal to men </span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal">until they can walk down the street with a bald head </span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal">and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal">------------------------------------------------------</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal">In th e beginning, God created the earth and rested. </span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal">Then God created Man a nd rested </span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal">Then God created Woman.</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: red">Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. </span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal">------------------------------------------------------</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal">Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and </span></span></span></strong></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px">to the select few women who can handle it!</span></span></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: red">AND MAXINE SAYS............'WALT WALCO'! </span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><em><strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="color: teal">Maxine just had to have the last word</span></span></strong></em><strong><em><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> . </span></span></em></strong></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Catatonic, post: 390747, member: 7966"] [U][B][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=red]Men strike back! [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/U] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=red]How many men does it take to open a beer?[/COLOR] [COLOR=teal]None. It should be opened when she brings it. -----------------------------------------------------------[/COLOR] [COLOR=red]Why is a Laundromat[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][COLOR=red]a really bad place to pick up a woman?[/COLOR][/SIZE] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=teal]Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probabl y never be able to support you. -----------------------------------------------------------[/COLOR] [COLOR=red]Why do women have smaller feet than men?[/COLOR] [COLOR=teal]It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.[/COLOR] [COLOR=red]----------------------------------------------------------- How do you know when[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][COLOR=red]a woman is about to say something smart?[/COLOR][/SIZE] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=teal]When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....' -----------------------------------------------------------[/COLOR] [COLOR=red]How do you fix a woman's watch?[/COLOR] [COLOR=teal]You don't. There is a clock on the oven. ----------------------------------------------------------[/COLOR] [COLOR=red]If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? [/COLOR] [COLOR=teal]The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. -- --------------------------------------------------------[/COLOR] [COLOR=red]I married a Miss Right.[/COLOR] [COLOR=teal]I just didn't know her first name was Always. -----------------------------------------------------------[/COLOR] [COLOR=red]Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][COLOR=teal]It's called a Wedding Cake.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [B][COLOR=teal][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3]----------------------------------------------------[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=red]Why do men die before their wives? [/COLOR] [COLOR=teal]They want to. ------------------------------------------------------[/COLOR] [COLOR=red]Women will never be equal to men [/COLOR] [COLOR=teal]until they can walk down the street with a bald head [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][COLOR=teal]and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=teal]------------------------------------------------------ In th e beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man a nd rested Then God created Woman.[/COLOR] [COLOR=red]Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. [/COLOR] [COLOR=teal]------------------------------------------------------ Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3]to the select few women who can handle it![/SIZE][/FONT] [B][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=red]AND MAXINE SAYS............'WALT WALCO'! [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [SIZE=3][I][B][FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=teal]Maxine just had to have the last word[/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/I][B][I][COLOR=blue][FONT=Arial] . [/FONT][/COLOR][/I][/B][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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