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Message: <blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 394969" data-attributes="member: 1246">MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE NICKNAMES:   <ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.</li> </ul>EATING OUT:    When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.<ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.</li> </ul>MONEY:    A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.<ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.</li> </ul>BATHROOMS:   A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .<ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.</li> </ul>ARGUMENTS:   A woman has the last word in any argument.<ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.</li> </ul>FUTURE:  A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.<ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.</li> </ul>SUCCESS:  A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.<ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">A successful woman is one who can find such a man.</li> </ul>MARRIAGE:  A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.<ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.</li> </ul>DRESSING UP:  A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.<ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.</li> </ul>NATURAL:   Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.<ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Women somehow deteriorate during the night.</li> </ul>OFFSPRING:  Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.<ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.</li> </ul>THOUGHT FOR THE DAYA married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing! </blockquote>

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