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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 396965" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy">I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A </span></span></span></span></strong></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>WRITE-IN CANDIDATE</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy">.</span></span></span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy">HERE IS MY PLATFORM:</span></span></span></span></strong></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy">(1) 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.</span></span></span></span></strong></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy">(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. </span></span></span></span></strong></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy">We will use the '<a href="http://www.walmart.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #003399"><span style="color: #003399"><u>Wal-Mart</u></span></span></a>'s policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'</span></span></span></span></strong></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy">(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.</span></span></span></span></strong></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy">(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border. (six month tour) They will be under strict orders no t to fire on <u>SOUTHBOUND</u> aliens.</span></span></span></span></strong></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></strong><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy">(5) Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. The president nor any other politician will not be able to touch it.</span></span></span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: navy"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: navy"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: navy"><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade.</span></strong></strong></span></span></span></strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: navy"><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">(7) Professional Athletes --Steroids - The FIRST time you check positive you're banned for life.</span></strong></strong></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: navy"><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more life sentences. If convicted, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc.</span></strong></strong></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: navy"><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">(9) One export will be allowed; Wheat, The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a </span></strong></strong>barrel of oil<strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">.</span></strong></strong></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: navy"><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the </span></strong></strong>American people<strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.</span></strong></strong></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: navy"><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">(11) </span></strong></strong>The Pledge of Allegiance<strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.</span></strong></strong></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: navy"><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.</span></strong></strong></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: navy"><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes but a vote for me will get you better than what you have, and better than what you're gonna get. Thanks for listening, and remember to write in my name on the ballot in November.</span></strong></strong></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></span></strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 396965, member: 1246"] [B][B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy]I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/B][B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Arial][B]WRITE-IN CANDIDATE[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy].[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy]HERE IS MY PLATFORM:[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/B][B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=navy] [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=navy] [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy](1) 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/B][B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=navy] [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=navy] [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy](2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/B][B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=navy] [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy]We will use the '[URL="http://www.walmart.com/"][COLOR=#003399][COLOR=#003399][U]Wal-Mart[/U][/COLOR][/COLOR][/URL]'s policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/B][B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=navy] [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=navy] [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy](3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/B][B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=navy] [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=navy] [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy](4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border. (six month tour) They will be under strict orders no t to fire on [U]SOUTHBOUND[/U] aliens.[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/B][B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=navy] [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=navy] [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy](5) Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. The president nor any other politician will not be able to touch it.[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][COLOR=navy] [B][SIZE=5][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=navy][B][B][FONT=Times New Roman](6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade.[/FONT][/B][/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][FONT=Times New Roman] [B][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][B][B][FONT=Times New Roman](7) Professional Athletes --Steroids - The FIRST time you check positive you're banned for life.[/FONT][/B][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][B][B][FONT=Times New Roman](8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more life sentences. If convicted, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc.[/FONT][/B][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][B][B][FONT=Times New Roman](9) One export will be allowed; Wheat, The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a [/FONT][/B][/B]barrel of oil[B][B][FONT=Times New Roman].[/FONT][/B][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][B][B][FONT=Times New Roman](10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the [/FONT][/B][/B]American people[B][B][FONT=Times New Roman] if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.[/FONT][/B][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][B][B][FONT=Times New Roman](11) [/FONT][/B][/B]The Pledge of Allegiance[B][B][FONT=Times New Roman] will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.[/FONT][/B][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][B][B][FONT=Times New Roman](12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.[/FONT][/B][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][B][B][FONT=Times New Roman]Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes but a vote for me will get you better than what you have, and better than what you're gonna get. Thanks for listening, and remember to write in my name on the ballot in November.[/FONT][/B][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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