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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 397920" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p>Husbands and wives</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">You have two choices in life:</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">You can stay single and be miserable,</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">or get married and wish you were dead.</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">__________</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">__________</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">'Husband Wanted'.</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">Next day she received a hundred letters.</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">They all said the same thing:</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">'You can have mine.'</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">__________</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">When a woman steals your husband,</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">__________</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">__________</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">A little boy asked his father,</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">__________</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">A young son asked,</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">__________</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">Then there was a woman, who said,</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">and by then, it was too late.'</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">__________</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">__________</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">If you want your spouse to listen and</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">__________</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">Thinking they had no faults at all.</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">__________</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'</span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.</span></span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 397920, member: 1246"] Husbands and wives [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]You have two choices in life:[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]You can stay single and be miserable,[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]or get married and wish you were dead.[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]__________[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]__________[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]'Husband Wanted'.[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]Next day she received a hundred letters.[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]They all said the same thing:[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]'You can have mine.'[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]__________[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]When a woman steals your husband,[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]__________[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]__________[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]A little boy asked his father,[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]__________[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]A young son asked,[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]__________[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]Then there was a woman, who said,[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]and by then, it was too late.'[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]__________[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]__________[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]If you want your spouse to listen and[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]__________[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]Thinking they had no faults at all.[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]__________[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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