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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 404561" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #cc0000">Word Gender</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #004080"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">From the Washington Post Style Invitation, in which it was postulated that English should have male and female nouns, and readers were asked to assign a gender to nouns of their choice and explain their reason,</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #004080"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">The best submissions:</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #004080"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #004080"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">KIDNEYS -- female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #004080"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">TIRE -- male, because it goes bald and often is over-inflated. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #004080"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">HOT AIR BALLOON: male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air part.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #004080"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">SPONGES -- female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #004080"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">water.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #004080"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">WEB PAGE -- female, because it is always getting hit on.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #004080"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">SHOE -- male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #004080"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">COPIER -- female, because once turned on, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #004080"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">ZIPLOC BAGS -- male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #004080"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">SUBWAY -- male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #004080"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">HOURGLASS -- female, because over time, the weight shifts to the </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #004080"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">bottom.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #004080"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">HAMMER -- male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #004080"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">years, but it's handy to have around.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #004080"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">REMOTE CONTROL -- female...Ha!...you thought I'd say male. But consider, it gives man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"> </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 404561, member: 1246"] [CENTER][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#cc0000]Word Gender[/COLOR][/FONT][/CENTER] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial]From the Washington Post Style Invitation, in which it was postulated that English should have male and female nouns, and readers were asked to assign a gender to nouns of their choice and explain their reason,[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial]The best submissions:[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial]SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial]KIDNEYS -- female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial]TIRE -- male, because it goes bald and often is over-inflated. [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial]HOT AIR BALLOON: male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air part.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial]SPONGES -- female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial]water.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial]WEB PAGE -- female, because it is always getting hit on.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial]SHOE -- male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial]COPIER -- female, because once turned on, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial]ZIPLOC BAGS -- male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial]SUBWAY -- male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial]HOURGLASS -- female, because over time, the weight shifts to the [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial]bottom.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial]HAMMER -- male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial]years, but it's handy to have around.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#004080][FONT=Arial]REMOTE CONTROL -- female...Ha!...you thought I'd say male. But consider, it gives man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=#cc0000] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/FONT][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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