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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="Big Babooba" data-source="post: 405518" data-attributes="member: 5402"><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">DOG DIARY:</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">8:00 a.m. - Dog food! My favorite thing!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">9:30 a.m. - A car ride! My favorite thing!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">9:40 a.m. - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">10:30 a.m. - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">12:00 p.m. - Lunch! My favorite thing!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">1:00 p.m. - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">3:00 p.m. - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">5:00 p.m. - Milk bones! My favorite thing!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">7:00 p.m. - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">8:00 p.m. - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">11:00 p.m. - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">CAT DIARY:</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Day 983 of my captivity.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Bastards!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe..... For now...</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Big Babooba, post: 405518, member: 5402"] [FONT=Times New Roman]DOG DIARY: 8:00 a.m. - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 a.m. - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 a.m. - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 a.m. - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 p.m. - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 p.m. - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 p.m. - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 p.m. - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 p.m. - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 p.m. - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 p.m. - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! CAT DIARY: Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe..... For now...[/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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