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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 420880" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">New Stock Market Terms for 2009 arising out of Alan Greenspan's testimony yesterday:</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Bull Market -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Bear Market -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewellery, and the husband gets nothing.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Value Investing -- The art of buying low and selling lower.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">P/E Ratio -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Broker -- What my broker has made me.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Standard & Poor -- Your life in a nutshell.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Stock Analyst -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Stock Split -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Financial Planner -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Cash Flow -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Institutional Investor -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Profit -- An archaic word no longer in use. As in "false prophet". </span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 420880, member: 1246"] [FONT=Times New Roman]New Stock Market Terms for 2009 arising out of Alan Greenspan's testimony yesterday: CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer. CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer. Bull Market -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. Bear Market -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewellery, and the husband gets nothing. Value Investing -- The art of buying low and selling lower. P/E Ratio -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. Broker -- What my broker has made me. Standard & Poor -- Your life in a nutshell. Stock Analyst -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock. Stock Split -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves. Financial Planner -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected. Cash Flow -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet. Institutional Investor -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse. Profit -- An archaic word no longer in use. As in "false prophet". [/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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