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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 434708" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Baked Beans .......</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: purple">One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became</span></span><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up</span></span><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">beans.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: purple">Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from</span></span><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told</span></span><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">him that I would be late because I</span></span><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more</span></span><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off</span></span><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and</span></span><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans!</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: purple">All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.</span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: purple">Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: purple">'Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.'</span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: purple">He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took</span></span><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned</span></span><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">and went</span></span><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">to answer the call.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: purple">The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure</span></span><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It</span></span><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over</span></span><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap</span></span><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">and fanned the air around me vigorously.</span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: purple">Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink</span></span><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">was worse than cooked cabbage.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: purple">Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: purple">The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more</span></span><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back</span></span><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.</span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: purple">My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned,</span></span><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through</span></span><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.</span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: purple">At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated</span></span><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">around the table chorused: 'Happy Birthday!'</span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: purple">I fainted !!!!!!!!!!!!!</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 434708, member: 1246"] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]Baked Beans .......[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=purple]One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became[/COLOR][/FONT][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial]apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial]beans.[/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=purple]Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from[/COLOR][/FONT][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial]work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial]him that I would be late because I[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial]had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial]than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial]any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial]before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans![/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=purple]All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=purple]Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly:[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=purple]'Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.'[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=purple]He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took[/COLOR][/FONT][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial]a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial]and went[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial]to answer the call.[/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=purple]The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure[/COLOR][/FONT][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial]was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial]was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial]a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial]and fanned the air around me vigorously.[/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=purple]Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink[/COLOR][/FONT][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial]was worse than cooked cabbage.[/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=purple]Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=purple]The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more[/COLOR][/FONT][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial]times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial]on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.[/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=purple]My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned,[/COLOR][/FONT][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial]apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial]the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.[/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=purple]At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated[/COLOR][/FONT][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial]around the table chorused: 'Happy Birthday!'[/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=purple]I fainted !!!!!!!!!!!!![/COLOR][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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