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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 436368" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><strong><u>Why we still miss Rodney Dangerfield</u></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">Because he said ...</span></span></span></span><span style="color: maroon"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: maroon">My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: maroon">It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: maroon">Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: maroon">A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home!</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: maroon">A hooker once told me she had a headache! </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: maroon">If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: maroon">I was making love to this girl and she started crying I said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' <span style="color: #0000dd">She said, 'No, I hate myself now.'</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the first bag over her head comes off.</span></span></span></span><span style="color: maroon"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">I knew a girl who is so ugly that they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen, the roaches hang themselves.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">The other day I came home early and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, 'Why?'</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">He said, 'Because you came home early.'</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray <strong><u><strong>after</strong></u></strong> the meal.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. Last Monday she called me from Chicago.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>=</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 436368, member: 1246"] [COLOR=purple][FONT=Verdana][B][U]Why we still miss Rodney Dangerfield[/U][/B][/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=6][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Verdana]Because he said ...[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][COLOR=maroon] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=maroon]My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=maroon]It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass![/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=maroon]Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=maroon]A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home![/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=maroon]A hooker once told me she had a headache! [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=maroon]If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=maroon]I was making love to this girl and she started crying I said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' [COLOR=#0000dd]She said, 'No, I hate myself now.'[/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=6][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Verdana]I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the first bag over her head comes off.[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][COLOR=maroon] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]I knew a girl who is so ugly that they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen, the roaches hang themselves.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]The other day I came home early and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, 'Why?'[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]He said, 'Because you came home early.'[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray [B][U][B]after[/B][/U][/B] the meal.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. Last Monday she called me from Chicago.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT] [/COLOR] = [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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