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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 478972" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Iowa</span></span> According to Jeff Foxworthy.......</span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">If you're proud that your region makes the national news at least 96 times each year because it's the hottest or the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Spirit Lake Iowa</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might farm in Iowa</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Des Moines Iowa</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Russell Iowa</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Iowa</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Iowan WHEN 'Vacation' means going east or west on I-80 for the weekend.</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">If you measure distance in hours, you might live in Iowa</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you might live in Iowa</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">If you often switch from 'Heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you might live in Iowa</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching, you might live in Iowa</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">If you see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings), you might live in Iowa</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">If you install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked, you might live in Iowa</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">If you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them, you might live in Iowa</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you might live in Northern Iowa</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you might live in Iowa</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you might live in Iowa</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">If your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce, you might live in Iowa</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">If you were unaware that there is a legal drinking age, you might live in Iowa City Iowa</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">If Going Down South means Missouri , you might live in Iowa</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">If your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed, you might live in Iowa</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">If your idea of going out to eat is a tail gate party every Saturday, you definitely live in Iowa</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car; you might live in Iowa</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">If you find 0 degrees to be 'a little chilly', you might live in Iowa</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">If you actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Iowa friends -- you DO live in Iowa</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape.</span></span></span></span></span></strong></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> If it doesn't move and should, use WD-40</span></span></strong></strong></strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> If it shouldn't move and does, use Duct tape</span></span></strong></strong></strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p></p><p></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 478972, member: 1246"] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]Iowa[/SIZE][/FONT] According to Jeff Foxworthy.......[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]If you're proud that your region makes the national news at least 96 times each year because it's the hottest or the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Spirit Lake Iowa[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might farm in Iowa[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Des Moines Iowa[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Russell Iowa[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Iowa[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Iowan WHEN 'Vacation' means going east or west on I-80 for the weekend.[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]If you measure distance in hours, you might live in Iowa[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you might live in Iowa[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]If you often switch from 'Heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you might live in Iowa[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching, you might live in Iowa[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]If you see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings), you might live in Iowa[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]If you install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked, you might live in Iowa[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]If you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them, you might live in Iowa[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you might live in Northern Iowa[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you might live in Iowa[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you might live in Iowa[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]If your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce, you might live in Iowa[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]If you were unaware that there is a legal drinking age, you might live in Iowa City Iowa[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]If Going Down South means Missouri , you might live in Iowa[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]If your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed, you might live in Iowa[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]If your idea of going out to eat is a tail gate party every Saturday, you definitely live in Iowa[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car; you might live in Iowa[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]If you find 0 degrees to be 'a little chilly', you might live in Iowa[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]If you actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Iowa friends -- you DO live in Iowa[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue][FONT=Arial]You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape.[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/B][B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue][FONT=Arial][B] [B][B][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial] If it doesn't move and should, use WD-40[/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial] If it shouldn't move and does, use Duct tape[/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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