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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="trplnkl" data-source="post: 494640" data-attributes="member: 13254"><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"> you find out interesting things when you have sons, like... </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">house 4 inches deep. </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">2! .) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">roller blades, they can ignite. </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">restaurant. </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room. =0</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">D</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">before you get a hit.</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">by a ceiling fan. </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">too late. </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">36- year old Man says they can only do it in the movies. </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">old Boy. </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">12.) Super glue is forever. </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">can't walk on water. </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O. </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">show</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">they do. </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is. </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">like ovens. </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">20.) The fire department in Austin, TX20has a 5-minute response time. </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">dizzy. </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy. </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">with or without kids. </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">fluid. </span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trplnkl, post: 494640, member: 13254"] [FONT=Georgia][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0000ff][SIZE=4][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000] you find out interesting things when you have sons, like... 1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep. 2! .) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room. =0 D 5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way 6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. 7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late. 8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. 9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36- year old Man says they can only do it in the movies. 10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy. 11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. 12.) Super glue is forever. 13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. 14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O. 15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. 16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. 18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is. 19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens. 20.) The fire department in Austin, TX20has a 5-minute response time. 21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. 22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy. 23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. 24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids. 25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid. [/COLOR][/FONT] [/SIZE][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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