Reply to thread

Message

<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 497794" data-attributes="member: 1246">OFFICE DICTIONARY... &quot;APPLY IN PERSON&quot;: If you&#039;re old, fat or ugly you&#039;ll be told the position has been filled. &quot;NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE&quot;: We&#039;ve filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality. &quot;SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:&quot; You&#039;ll need it to replace three people who just left. &quot;PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST&quot;: You&#039;re walking into a company in perpetual chaos. &quot;REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS&quot;: You&#039;ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect. &quot;GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS&quot;: Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it. &quot;I&#039;M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION&quot;: I&#039;ve used Microsoft Office. &quot;I&#039;M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE&quot;: I pilfer office supplies. &quot;MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES&quot;: I hope you don&#039;t ask me about all the McJobs I&#039;ve had. &quot;I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK&quot;: I blame others for my mistakes. &quot;I&#039;M PERSONABLE&quot;: I give lots of unsolicited personal advice. &quot;I&#039;M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL&quot;: I carry a Day-Timer. &quot;I AM ADAPTABLE&quot;: I&#039;ve changed jobs a lot. &quot;I AM ON THE GO&quot;: I&#039;m never at my desk. &quot;I&#039;M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED&quot;: The minute I find a better job, I&#039;m outta here. &quot;COMPETITIVE SALARY&quot;: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. &quot;JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY&quot;: We have no time to train you. &quot;CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE&quot;: We don&#039;t pay enough to expect that you&#039;ll dress up. &quot;MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED&quot;: You&#039;ll be six months behind schedule on your first day. &quot;SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED&quot;: Some time each night and some time each weekend. &quot;DUTIES WILL VARY&quot;: Anyone in the office can boss you around. &quot;MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL&quot;: We have no quality control. &quot;CAREER-MINDED&quot;: Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).</blockquote>

[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 497794, member: 1246"] OFFICE DICTIONARY... "APPLY IN PERSON": If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled. "NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE": We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality. "SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:" You'll need it to replace three people who just left. "PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST": You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos. "REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS": You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect. "GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS": Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it. "I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION": I've used Microsoft Office. "I'M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE": I pilfer office supplies. "MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES": I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had. "I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK": I blame others for my mistakes. "I'M PERSONABLE": I give lots of unsolicited personal advice. "I'M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL": I carry a Day-Timer. "I AM ADAPTABLE": I've changed jobs a lot. "I AM ON THE GO": I'm never at my desk. "I'M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED": The minute I find a better job, I'm outta here. "COMPETITIVE SALARY": We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no time to train you. "CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up. "MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED": You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day. "SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED": Some time each night and some time each weekend. "DUTIES WILL VARY": Anyone in the office can boss you around. "MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL": We have no quality control. "CAREER-MINDED": Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way). [/QUOTE]

Verification