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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 562864" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><strong><u><span style="color: maroon">WHY GOD MADE MOMS </span></u></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions: </span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><u><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">Why did God make mothers? </span></span></strong></u></p><p><strong><span style="color: maroon">1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. </span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: maroon">2. Mostly to clean the house. </span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: maroon">3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.</span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: maroon">How did God make mothers? </span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">2 Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. </span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><u><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">What ingredients are mothers made of ? </span></span></strong></u></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. </span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><u><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom? </span></span></strong></u></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">1. We're related. </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. </span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><u><strong><span style="color: maroon">What kind of little girl was your mom? </span></strong></u></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">3. They say she used to be nice. </span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><u><strong><span style="color: maroon">What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him? </span></strong></u></p><p><strong><span style="color: maroon">1. His last name. </span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: maroon">2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? </span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: maroon">3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? </span></strong></p><p> </p><p><u><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">Why did your mom marry your dad? </span></span></strong></u></p><p><strong><span style="color: maroon">1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.. </span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: maroon">2. She got too old to do anything else with him. </span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: maroon">3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. </span></strong></p><p> </p><p><u><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">Who's the boss at your house? </span></span></strong></u></p><p><strong><span style="color: maroon">1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. </span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: maroon">2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed. </span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: maroon">3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. </span></strong></p><p> </p><p><u><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">What's the difference between moms & dads? </span></span></strong></u></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. </span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><u><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">What does your mom do in her spare time? </span></span></strong></u></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">1. Mothers don't do spare time. </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. </span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><u><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">What would it take to make your mom perfect? </span></span></strong></u></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery. </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. </span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><u><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? </span></span></strong></u></p><p><strong><span style="color: maroon">1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. </span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: maroon">2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me. </span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: maroon">3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. </span></strong></p><p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">WHEN YOU STOP LAUGHING -- </span></span></strong></p><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">SEND IT ON TO OTHER MOTHERS, GRANDMOTHERS, AUNTS </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'"><span style="color: maroon">And anyone else who just needs a good laugh!!</span></span></strong></p> </p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 562864, member: 1246"] [B][U][COLOR=maroon]WHY GOD MADE MOMS [/COLOR][/U][/B] [B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions: [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [U][B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]Why did God make mothers? [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/U] [B][COLOR=maroon]1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. [/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=maroon]2. Mostly to clean the house. [/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=maroon]3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=maroon]How did God make mothers? [/COLOR][/B] [B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]2 Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [U][B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]What ingredients are mothers made of ? [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/U] [B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [U][B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom? [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/U] [B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]1. We're related. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [U][B][COLOR=maroon]What kind of little girl was your mom? [/COLOR][/B][/U] [B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]3. They say she used to be nice. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [U][B][COLOR=maroon]What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him? [/COLOR][/B][/U] [B][COLOR=maroon]1. His last name. [/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=maroon]2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? [/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=maroon]3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? [/COLOR][/B] [U][B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]Why did your mom marry your dad? [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/U] [B][COLOR=maroon]1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.. [/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=maroon]2. She got too old to do anything else with him. [/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=maroon]3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. [/COLOR][/B] [U][B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]Who's the boss at your house? [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/U] [B][COLOR=maroon]1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. [/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=maroon]2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed. [/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=maroon]3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. [/COLOR][/B] [U][B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]What's the difference between moms & dads? [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/U] [B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [U][B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]What does your mom do in her spare time? [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/U] [B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]1. Mothers don't do spare time. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [U][B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]What would it take to make your mom perfect? [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/U] [B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [U][B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/U] [B][COLOR=maroon]1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. [/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=maroon]2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me. [/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=maroon]3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. [/COLOR][/B] [CENTER] [B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]WHEN YOU STOP LAUGHING -- [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [CENTER][B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]SEND IT ON TO OTHER MOTHERS, GRANDMOTHERS, AUNTS [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=maroon]And anyone else who just needs a good laugh!![/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/QUOTE]
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