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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 594017" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p style="text-align: center"><strong>The A**Hole Bill of Rights</strong></p><p></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">As an A**Hole, I proclaim the following: <ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">I will live my life the way I deem fit, screw political correctness.</li> </ol><p></span><p></span> <ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><br /> [*]I have the right to choose my religious path if I choose one at all. Christianity be damned. </span></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><br /> [*]If I want to eat a cow, I will eat a cow. </span></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><br /> [*]I have the right to hang up on telemarketers midsentence and not have to worry about whether or not I was polite. </span></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><br /> [*]If I think someone's an idiot, I will tell them they're an idiot. </span></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><br /> [*]I have the right to tell children that their parents aren't raising them correctly. (Think of how many times you've been at a supermarket and heard a screaming child the entire time...what exactly would you want to say that'd be any nicer?) </span></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><br /> [*]If you don't know what you're talking about, shut the hell up. </span></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><br /> [*]You may have the right to speak, but I don't have to listen to you. </span></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><br /> [*]If I want to be rude, loud, and obnoxious, it's a free country. </span></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><br /> [*]If I want to go to a bar, destroy my liver with alcohol, clog my arteries with junk, and have unsafe sex with the woman/man I just met, I ought to be able to smoke while I'm at it. </span></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><br /> [*]I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can go to Jenny Craig. </span></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><br /> [*]Jerry Springer for President!!!!!!! </span></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><br /> [*]Denis Leary should be proclaimed God and given reign over society. </span></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><br /> [*]Your daughter just got drunk at a party, made a slut of herself, and you're worried about my religious beliefs? </span></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><br /> [*]Before you tell me how to run my life, be certain that your own is squeaky clean. </span></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><br /> [*]Just because you work at McDonald's doesn't mean you have an excuse to have an I.Q. under twelve. </span></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><br /> [*](Courtesy of George Carlin) Just because you're a student does not mean that you're any more enlightened than someone that works at Blockbuster. </span></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><br /> [*]Speaking of Blockbuster, if I return the tape, you do not have to actually sue me for $15!! </span></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><br /> [*]If you're stupid enough to give me credit, deal with the consequences. </span></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><br /> [*]It's ignorant to charge someone $25 if they bounce a check for $5. (If I didn't have the $5, what makes you think I'm going to have $25 you retards!!) </span></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><br /> [*]If you don't like the way I drive then at the next red light get out from under my car. </span></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><br /> [*]If your dog or cat is so smart, then why do you talk to it like it's a newborn baby? </span></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><br /> [*]If I shoot you while you're committing a crime, and you try to sue me for it, I'll shoot you again. </span></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><br /> [*]Courtesy of Ben Franklin: Anyone who would give up freedoms and liberties for temporary security deserves neither freedom or security. </span></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><br /> [*]If you live in Tornado Alley, don't whine when you get hit by a tornado. </span></span></li> </ol></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 594017, member: 1246"] [CENTER][B]The A**Hole Bill of Rights[/B][/CENTER] [SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS]As an A**Hole, I proclaim the following:[LIST=1] [*]I will live my life the way I deem fit, screw political correctness. [*][/LIST][/FONT][LIST=1][/list][/SIZE][LIST=1][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [*]I have the right to choose my religious path if I choose one at all. Christianity be damned. [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [*]If I want to eat a cow, I will eat a cow. [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [*]I have the right to hang up on telemarketers midsentence and not have to worry about whether or not I was polite. [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [*]If I think someone's an idiot, I will tell them they're an idiot. [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [*]I have the right to tell children that their parents aren't raising them correctly. (Think of how many times you've been at a supermarket and heard a screaming child the entire time...what exactly would you want to say that'd be any nicer?) [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [*]If you don't know what you're talking about, shut the hell up. [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [*]You may have the right to speak, but I don't have to listen to you. [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [*]If I want to be rude, loud, and obnoxious, it's a free country. [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [*]If I want to go to a bar, destroy my liver with alcohol, clog my arteries with junk, and have unsafe sex with the woman/man I just met, I ought to be able to smoke while I'm at it. [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [*]I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can go to Jenny Craig. [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [*]Jerry Springer for President!!!!!!! [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [*]Denis Leary should be proclaimed God and given reign over society. [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [*]Your daughter just got drunk at a party, made a slut of herself, and you're worried about my religious beliefs? [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [*]Before you tell me how to run my life, be certain that your own is squeaky clean. [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [*]Just because you work at McDonald's doesn't mean you have an excuse to have an I.Q. under twelve. [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [*](Courtesy of George Carlin) Just because you're a student does not mean that you're any more enlightened than someone that works at Blockbuster. [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [*]Speaking of Blockbuster, if I return the tape, you do not have to actually sue me for $15!! [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [*]If you're stupid enough to give me credit, deal with the consequences. [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [*]It's ignorant to charge someone $25 if they bounce a check for $5. (If I didn't have the $5, what makes you think I'm going to have $25 you retards!!) [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [*]If you don't like the way I drive then at the next red light get out from under my car. [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [*]If your dog or cat is so smart, then why do you talk to it like it's a newborn baby? [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [*]If I shoot you while you're committing a crime, and you try to sue me for it, I'll shoot you again. [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [*]Courtesy of Ben Franklin: Anyone who would give up freedoms and liberties for temporary security deserves neither freedom or security. [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [*]If you live in Tornado Alley, don't whine when you get hit by a tornado. [/FONT][/SIZE] [/LIST] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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