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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 598325" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">*GRIT (Girls Raised In <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>Texas</strong></span></span></strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong> )*</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>Someone once noted that a Texan can get away with the most awful kind of insult just as long as it's prefaced with the words, "Bless her heart" or "Bless his heart." As in, "Bless his heart, if they put his brain on the head of a pin, it'd roll around like a BB on a 6-lane highway."</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>I was thinking about this the other day when a friend was telling about her new transplanted northern friend who was upset because her toddler is just beginning to talk and he has a Texas accent. My friend, who is very kind and, bless her heart, cannot do a thing about those thighs of hers, was justifiably miffed about this. After all, this woman had CHOSEN to move to </strong></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>Texas</strong></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong> a couple of years ago.</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>"Can you believe it?" said her friend, "A child of mine is going to be</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>"taaaallllkkin liiiike thiiiissss."</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>Now, don't get me wrong. Some of my dearest friends are from the North, bless their hearts. I welcome their perspective, their friendships, and their recipes for authentic Northern Italian food. I've even gotten past their endless complaints that you can't find good bread down here. And the heathens, bless their hearts, don't like cornbread!</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>I have a friend from Bawston, bless her heart, who thinks it's hilarious</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>when I say I've got to "carry" my daughter to the doctor or "cut off" the light. She also gets a giggle every time I am "fixin" to do something. And, bless their hearts, they don't even know where "over yonder" is, or what "I reckon" means!</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>My personal favorite was my aunt, saying, "Bless her heart, she cain't help being ugly, but she could'uh stayed home."</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong></strong></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>Texas</strong></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong> girls know bad manners when they see them:</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>1. Drinking straight out of a can.</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>2. Not sending thank you notes.</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>3. Velvet after February.</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>4. White shoes before Memorial Day or after Labor Day.</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong></strong></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>Texas</strong></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong> girls always say:</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>1. "Yes Maam."</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>2. "Yessir..."</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong></strong></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>Texas</strong></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong> girls have a distinct way with fond expressions:</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>1. "Yawl come back."</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>2. "Well, bless yer harrt."</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>3. "Drop by when ya can."</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>4. "How's yer mama?"</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>5. "Love yer hair.."</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong></strong></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>Texas</strong></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong> girls know their three R's:</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>1. Rich</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>2. Richer</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>3. Richest</strong></span> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong></strong></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>Texas</strong></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong> girls know everybody's first name:</strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>1. Hunny</strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>2. Darlin'</strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>3. Shuger</strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong></strong></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>Texas</strong></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong> girls know the movies that speak to their hearts:</strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>1. "Gone With the Wind"</strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>2. "Fried Green Tomatoes"</strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>3. "Driving Miss Daisy"</strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>4. "Steel Magnolias"</strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong></strong></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>Texas</strong></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong> girls know the three deadly sins:</strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>1. Bad hair</strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>2. Bad manners</strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>3. Bad blind dates</strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>G.R.I.T. = Girls Raised in </strong></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>Texas</strong></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong> !</strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>Now you run along, Shuger, and send this to ANY females aspiring to be GRITS--Even the northern ones, "Bless Their Hearts". and send it on to men who think </strong></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>Texas</strong></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong> women are precious.</strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>Just because you move to </strong></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>Texas</strong></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong> does not make you a Texan. After all, if a cat had kittens and moved them to the oven, that wouldn't make them biscuits."</strong></span></span></strong></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 598325, member: 1246"] [B][FONT=Arial]*GRIT (Girls Raised In [FONT=Arial][B]Texas[/B][/FONT][/FONT][/B][FONT=Arial][B] )* Someone once noted that a Texan can get away with the most awful kind of insult just as long as it's prefaced with the words, "Bless her heart" or "Bless his heart." As in, "Bless his heart, if they put his brain on the head of a pin, it'd roll around like a BB on a 6-lane highway." I was thinking about this the other day when a friend was telling about her new transplanted northern friend who was upset because her toddler is just beginning to talk and he has a Texas accent. My friend, who is very kind and, bless her heart, cannot do a thing about those thighs of hers, was justifiably miffed about this. After all, this woman had CHOSEN to move to [/B][/FONT][FONT=Arial][B]Texas[/B][/FONT][FONT=Arial][B] a couple of years ago. "Can you believe it?" said her friend, "A child of mine is going to be "taaaallllkkin liiiike thiiiissss." Now, don't get me wrong. Some of my dearest friends are from the North, bless their hearts. I welcome their perspective, their friendships, and their recipes for authentic Northern Italian food. I've even gotten past their endless complaints that you can't find good bread down here. And the heathens, bless their hearts, don't like cornbread! I have a friend from Bawston, bless her heart, who thinks it's hilarious when I say I've got to "carry" my daughter to the doctor or "cut off" the light. She also gets a giggle every time I am "fixin" to do something. And, bless their hearts, they don't even know where "over yonder" is, or what "I reckon" means! My personal favorite was my aunt, saying, "Bless her heart, she cain't help being ugly, but she could'uh stayed home." [/B][/FONT][FONT=Arial][B]Texas[/B][/FONT][FONT=Arial][B] girls know bad manners when they see them: 1. Drinking straight out of a can. 2. Not sending thank you notes. 3. Velvet after February. 4. White shoes before Memorial Day or after Labor Day. [/B][/FONT][FONT=Arial][B]Texas[/B][/FONT][FONT=Arial][B] girls always say: 1. "Yes Maam." 2. "Yessir..." [/B][/FONT][FONT=Arial][B]Texas[/B][/FONT][FONT=Arial][B] girls have a distinct way with fond expressions: 1. "Yawl come back." 2. "Well, bless yer harrt." 3. "Drop by when ya can." 4. "How's yer mama?" 5. "Love yer hair.." [/B][/FONT][FONT=Arial][B]Texas[/B][/FONT][FONT=Arial][B] girls know their three R's: 1. Rich 2. Richer 3. Richest[/B][/FONT] [B][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][B] [/B][/FONT][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][B]Texas[/B][/FONT][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][B] girls know everybody's first name: 1. Hunny 2. Darlin' 3. Shuger [/B][/FONT][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][B]Texas[/B][/FONT][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][B] girls know the movies that speak to their hearts: 1. "Gone With the Wind" 2. "Fried Green Tomatoes" 3. "Driving Miss Daisy" 4. "Steel Magnolias" [/B][/FONT][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][B]Texas[/B][/FONT][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][B] girls know the three deadly sins: 1. Bad hair 2. Bad manners 3. Bad blind dates G.R.I.T. = Girls Raised in [/B][/FONT][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][B]Texas[/B][/FONT][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][B] ! Now you run along, Shuger, and send this to ANY females aspiring to be GRITS--Even the northern ones, "Bless Their Hearts". and send it on to men who think [/B][/FONT][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][B]Texas[/B][/FONT][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][B] women are precious. Just because you move to [/B][/FONT][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][B]Texas[/B][/FONT][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][B] does not make you a Texan. After all, if a cat had kittens and moved them to the oven, that wouldn't make them biscuits."[/B][/FONT][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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