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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 613148" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><strong>And They Ask</strong></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><strong> Why</strong></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">I Like Retirement !!!</span></span></strong></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">Question:</span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099"> How many days in a week?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">Answer:</span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099"> 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday</span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">Question:</span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099"> When is a retiree's bedtime?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">Answer:</span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099"> Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: #000099"><strong>Question:</strong> How many retirees to change a light bulb?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">Answer:</span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099"> Only one, but it might take all day.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">Question:</span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099"> What's the biggest gripe of retirees?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">Answer:</span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099"> There is not enough time to get everything done.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p> </p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: #000099"><strong>Question:</strong> Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">Answer:</span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099"> The term comes with a 10% discount.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">Question:</span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099"> Among retirees what is considered formal attire?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">Answer:</span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099"> Tied shoes.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">Question:</span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099"> Why do retirees count pennies?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">Answer:</span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099"> They are the only ones who have the time.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">Question:</span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099"> What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">Answer:</span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099"> NUTS!</span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: #000099"><strong>Question:</strong></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: #000099"> Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?</span></span></span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">Answer:</span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099"> They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">Question:</span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099"> What do retirees call a long lunch?</span></span></span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">Answer:</span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099"> Normal .</span></span></span> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">Question:</span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099"> What is the best way to describe retirement?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">Answer:</span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099"> The never ending Coffee Break.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">Question:</span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099"> What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? </span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">Answer:</span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099"> If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p> </p><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">Question:</span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099"> Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with? </span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">Answer:</span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099"> He is too polite to tell the whole truth.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">And, my very favorite......</span></span></span></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">QUESTION:</span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099"> What do you do all week?</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099">Answer:</span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #000099"> Monday through Friday, </span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: #000099">NOTHING..... </span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: #000099">Saturday & Sunday, I rest.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #400080">Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #400080">'And what do you think is the best thing</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #400080">about being 104?' the reporter asked.</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #400080">She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'</span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p> </p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #ff0080">The nice thing about being senile is</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #ff0080">you can hide your own Easter eggs.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p> </p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #800080">I've sure gotten old! </span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #800080">I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #800080">new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #800080">I'm half blind,</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #800080">can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #800080">take 40 different medications that</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #800080">make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #800080">Have bouts with dementia.</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #800080">Have poor circulation;</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #800080">hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #800080">Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #800080">Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #800080">I still have my driver's license.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p> </p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: blue">I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: blue">so I got my doctor's permission to</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: blue">join a fitness club and start exercising.</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: blue">I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors..</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: blue">I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, </span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: blue">by the time I got my leotards on,</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: blue">the class was over.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p> </p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #ff8000">An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #ff8000">told her preacher she had two final requests.</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #ff8000">First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #ff8000">she wanted her ashes scattered over </span></span></span><a href="http://www.walmart.com/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: blue"><u>Wal-Mart</u></span></span></span></a><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #ff8000">.</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #ff8000">'Wal-Mart?' the preacher exclaimed. </span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #ff8000">'Why Wal-Mart?'</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #ff8000">'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week'</span></span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #008000">.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="color: #800000">.</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 613148, member: 1246"] [CENTER][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=6][B]And They Ask[/B][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=7][B] Why[/B][/SIZE][/FONT] [B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana]I Like Retirement !!![/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]Question:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099] How many days in a week?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]Answer:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099] 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]Question:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099] When is a retiree's bedtime?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]Answer:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099] Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=6][COLOR=#000099][B]Question:[/B] How many retirees to change a light bulb?[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]Answer:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099] Only one, but it might take all day.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]Question:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099] What's the biggest gripe of retirees?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]Answer:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099] There is not enough time to get everything done.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=6][COLOR=#000099][B]Question:[/B] Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]Answer:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099] The term comes with a 10% discount.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]Question:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099] Among retirees what is considered formal attire?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]Answer:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099] Tied shoes.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]Question:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099] Why do retirees count pennies?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]Answer:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099] They are the only ones who have the time.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]Question:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099] What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]Answer:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099] NUTS![/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=6][COLOR=#000099][B]Question:[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=6][COLOR=#000099] Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]Answer:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099] They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]Question:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099] What do retirees call a long lunch?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]Answer:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099] Normal .[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [CENTER][B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]Question:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099] What is the best way to describe retirement?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]Answer:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099] The never ending Coffee Break.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]Question:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099] What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]Answer:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099] If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]Question:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099] Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with? [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]Answer:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099] He is too polite to tell the whole truth.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]And, my very favorite......[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]QUESTION:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099] What do you do all week?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099]Answer:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000099] Monday through Friday, [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=6][COLOR=#000099]NOTHING..... [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=6][COLOR=#000099]Saturday & Sunday, I rest.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#400080]Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#400080]'And what do you think is the best thing[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#400080]about being 104?' the reporter asked.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#400080]She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#ff0080]The nice thing about being senile is[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#ff0080]you can hide your own Easter eggs.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#800080]I've sure gotten old! [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#800080]I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#800080]new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#800080]I'm half blind,[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#800080]can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#800080]take 40 different medications that[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#800080]make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#800080]Have bouts with dementia.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#800080]Have poor circulation;[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#800080]hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#800080]Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#800080]Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#800080]I still have my driver's license.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=blue]I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=blue]so I got my doctor's permission to[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=blue]join a fitness club and start exercising.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=blue]I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors..[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=blue]I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=blue]by the time I got my leotards on,[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=blue]the class was over.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#ff8000]An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#ff8000]told her preacher she had two final requests.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#ff8000]First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#ff8000]she wanted her ashes scattered over [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][URL="http://www.walmart.com/"][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=blue][U]Wal-Mart[/U][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/URL][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=#ff8000].[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#ff8000]'Wal-Mart?' the preacher exclaimed. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#ff8000]'Why Wal-Mart?'[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#ff8000]'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week'[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#008000].[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [CENTER][SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#800000].[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [/QUOTE]
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