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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 670962" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p>THOUGHTS ON PARENTHOOD..............</p><p></p><p>**If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!</p><p></p><p>**Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your car, and you get about the same results.</p><p></p><p>**To be in your children's memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.</p><p></p><p>**The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side.</p><p></p><p>**Avenge yourself ~~~ live long enough to be a problem to your children.</p><p></p><p>**The best way to keep kids at home is to give it a loving atmosphere ~~ and hide the keys to the car.</p><p></p><p>**The right temperature in a home is maintained by warm hearts, not by hot heads.</p><p></p><p>**Parents: People who bare infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.</p><p></p><p>**The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the children are finally in bed.</p><p></p><p>**Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need baby- sitters and too young to borrow the family car.</p><p></p><p>**Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.</p><p></p><p>**Grandparents are similar to a piece of string ~ handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of grandchildren.</p><p></p><p>**A child outgrows your lap, but never outgrows your heart.</p><p></p><p>**God gave you two ears and one mouth.... so you should listen twice as much as you talk.</p><p></p><p>**There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it.</p><p></p><p>**Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents.</p><p></p><p>**You know the only people in this world who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.</p><p></p><p>**Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.</p><p></p><p>**Oh, to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was small, and half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am.</p><p></p><p>**There are only two things a child will share willing: communicable diseases and his mother's age.</p><p></p><p>**Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.</p><p></p><p>**Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers.</p><p></p><p>**An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don't have small children.</p><p></p><p>**Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can inprison?</p><p></p><p>**How do you cope when the apple of your eye becomes a bone in your throat?</p><p></p><p>**No wonder kids are confused today. Half the adults tell them to find themselves; the other half tell them to get lost.</p><p></p><p>**The people hardest to convince that it's time for retirement are children at bedtime.</p><p></p><p>**Kids really brighten a household; they never turn off any lights.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 670962, member: 1246"] THOUGHTS ON PARENTHOOD.............. **If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor! **Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your car, and you get about the same results. **To be in your children's memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today. **The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side. **Avenge yourself ~~~ live long enough to be a problem to your children. **The best way to keep kids at home is to give it a loving atmosphere ~~ and hide the keys to the car. **The right temperature in a home is maintained by warm hearts, not by hot heads. **Parents: People who bare infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds. **The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the children are finally in bed. **Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need baby- sitters and too young to borrow the family car. **Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. **Grandparents are similar to a piece of string ~ handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of grandchildren. **A child outgrows your lap, but never outgrows your heart. **God gave you two ears and one mouth.... so you should listen twice as much as you talk. **There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it. **Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents. **You know the only people in this world who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any. **Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm. **Oh, to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was small, and half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am. **There are only two things a child will share willing: communicable diseases and his mother's age. **Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch. **Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers. **An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don't have small children. **Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can inprison? **How do you cope when the apple of your eye becomes a bone in your throat? **No wonder kids are confused today. Half the adults tell them to find themselves; the other half tell them to get lost. **The people hardest to convince that it's time for retirement are children at bedtime. **Kids really brighten a household; they never turn off any lights. [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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